I’m A Cumberbitch (That is, I Love Benedict Cumberbatch)

benedict cumberbatch

You probably already saw this coming, but I have a huge crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. So, I’m a cumberbitch, apparently.

This is pretty new for me, and I’m really excited.

It’s not that I never have crushes on movie stars, though I wasn’t really one of those teen girls who spent a long time lusting after various stars. Or I did, maybe just not the kind you could hang posters of on your wall. Rex Harrison, for instance. It’s really hard to be a pre-teen girl and explain who Rex Harrison is let alone why his accent is sexy. And just try doing that with, say, Errol Flynn. I mean, sure, The Aviator helped, but not enough.

I guess what I mean to say is that – generally the stars I lust after are long dead.

To be fair, I used to have a crush on Jeremy Irons, who is near death, but not actually dead. But then he went around comparing gay marriage to incest and I really feel like it’s caused a rift between us. So, that crush may not be dead, but it could be slowly dying.

And now I’ve got a live one!

I’m pretty psyched about this.

I am, apparently, not alone in loving Benedict Cumberbatch. There’s an entire website for Cumberbitches (possibly the filthiest sounding fan girl name I can fathom) that lists problems like “his voice sounds like a jaguar purring inside a cello” and “pretending you’re into Ford Maddox Ford and Parade’s End when you’re really just lusting after Benedict.”

I swear to God I’m really into Ford Maddox Ford. I also like Rupert Everett as an actor, so I mostly watched Parade’s End for that. But I liked The Good Soldier (which I read after watching the bizarre Alexis Bledel movie version)! No, seriously, I did like the book, which I was vaguely familiar with. That is to say, I had read about half of Parade’s End, thought, “This main character is an idiot,” identified strongly with his adulterous wife until she became highly religious, thought, “This character is also an idiot,” and put the book down. But I was interested in how they’d handle the depiction of it on HBO, and, especially, how they would manage to get a naked character into it, which is a time honored HBO tradition.

Oh, hell, who am I kidding, I’ll watch any drama where there’s any chance that any character might wear a fichu. It’s all I look for.

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    • kaimcn

      omg, can we have a Wed Bed Dead with recent portrayals of Sherlock Holmes? (Robert Downey Jr, Cumberbatch, and Jonny Lee Miller)

      • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

        NOT A BAD IDEA.

      • Jennifer Wright


      • kaimcn

        I’m available as a Canadian-based intern ;)

      • Sean

        Sick Boy FTW. :)

    • LoveyDovey

      Welcome to the fold, my friend.

    • Blair

      Leslie Howard!! Yes, that’s exactly who he reminds me of! I can finally sleep again.
      His performance alone has made the Sherlock series indefinitely rewatchable and he is the icing on the cake that is Atonement. ADORE!

    • http://helloalle.com/ Alle


      He is my Imaginary Boyfriend.

    • Isana Leshchinskaya

      i’m so with you on both benedict and the fichu. ever seen north and south with richard armitage? sooooo good.

    • ascholarsparrot

      He plays a conflicted former cop (with lighter hair, very confusing) in an episode of Marple that is British, mysterious, AND 40′s era clothing. What’s not to love?

    • Jules

      I’ve had a bad “impression” of him since he played a rapist in Atonement.

      • TrinainUS

        That’s called being a good actor.

    • alford

      Cumberbatch is a very sexy actor. Howard wasnt so I cant see the comparison.

    • Magaux

      It’s very nice to know that I’m not the only one who lusts after dead actors. That said, I LOVE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH! And thank you for coming up with something that perfectly describes his voice. Like a jaguar purring inside a cello, indeed.

      • anindoorkitty

        She didn’t come up with it, Caitlin Moran, a fabulous British journalist and broadcaster – and also a sister Cumberbitch in her own right – came up with it.

    • cottoncandy100

      If you’d seen him on stage in a read through of Look back in Anger in think you’d be comparing him to Richard Burton. He was phenomenal in the read through. The only one really acting out the scenes. He’s such a passionate charismatic performer. There’s a risk in thinking an actor is like the parts he plays. Thats why I’m glad he’s starting to get more passionate roles to play.

    • Nolalily

      You mean grace, dignity, refinement, manners, humility combined with warmth and imagination? I drink from thine chalice. Might this be what we modern women have been missing, eh?

    • TrinainUS

      I never really found Leslie Howard sexy, though. Cumberbatch is another story altogether in that regard; which is a nice bonus in such a fine actor!

    • paizlea

      Cumberbatch is a fabulously talented actor, and hotter than hellfire. Did you see the cut shower scene from Star Trek? Yowza! I’m surprised the water wasn’t steaming… But could we please give up that horrible term “Cumberbitch”? Ugh.

      • collinsy

        Apparently benedict prefers the name “Cumberbabes” :)

    • anindoorkitty

      a computer tone sounds everytime a new Cumberbitch is born! Love it. Welcome to the wonderful world of the CumberCollective.. Come over to Tumblr, search the Benedict Cumberbatch tag, and join in the fun. Welcome aboard the Cumbertrain because he has a super year in store for you. If you haven’t already seen Star Trek Into Darkness, see it. Then he’ll be in August:Osage County with Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts as Little Charles, The Fifth Estate as Julian Assange with Dan Stevens and Daniel Bruhl, The Hobbit:The Desolation of Smaug, as Smaug (as well as the Necromancer), Twelve Years a Slave with Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender as William Ford and finally, season 3 of Sherlock!! Looking forward to a year chock full of Cumbergoodness. And in case you would like to catch up on some past Cumberbatch performances, check out his CV on IMDB and prepare to be entertained. I recommend starting with his BAFTA nominated Hawking. Many of these are available free on YouTube, or Netfix, Itunes or Amazon. and next year he’s already set to play Alan Turing in the Imitation Game and an as yet unnamed lead character in director/writer Guillermo Del Toro’s Crimson Peak with Jessica Chastain and Emma Stone. Oh and he also does amazing voice work. He’s already read 2 late night tales for albums by Friendly Fires and Royksopps. As well as many audio books, commercials, documentaries and even opera – just bought his performance in Usher House. And he’s just signed to narrate the new IMAX movie ‘Jerusalem’. Oh, and don’t forget his live stage performances. He won a Best Actor Olivier Award in 2012 for his performances in Danny Boyle’s Frankenstein.

    • Vahn

      He’s mine babe. Yes I know. He’s amazing!

    • debdessaso

      I’ll add my name to the list of Cumberbatch (not quite the “B” word) fans. He is the most extraordinary actor I’ve seen in a long, long time! Benedict has been described as having a “curious mix of [facial] features” which I somewhat agree with, and yet it’s that very mix that sets him apart from the run-of-the-mill, cutsey-wootsie, non-acting male leads who, frankly, bore me to no end. His role in the new Star Trek movie shows that he can act circles around most of the actors of his generation. On top of this, he’s intelligent, well-read, polite when he has to be, and apologetically frank when he wants to be. (Remember his comments about Downton Abbey?) Benedict is everything I want in an actor–and more!

    • rogueseye

      I guess you could be a Cumberbabe, which is the other huge fan club. He’s a genius, whatever name you like to call yourself.

    • Anarine

      You had me at fichu…

    • Lauren

      Why don’t people call themselves “Ben addicts” his name benedict means gift or blessing and when said slowly sounds like Ben addict. Cumberbitches or cumberbabe is weird when you can actually play on his given name…

    • julie

      his voice is so melodic and resonant, he should read a bedtime story I have trouble sleeping, it would help me. other than that wouldn’t CUMBER BABES be more appropriate then that awful word bitch!!