I got married in April. This is a column about de-gendering weddings.
I’m not suggesting you necessarily should de-gender a wedding — I just want to talk about how you can do this if you want to. If people want to play-act at retro gender roles for one day of their lives, that’s basically fine by me. When I went to the prom, my date pulled out my chair and opened all the doors for me, which is not how I want to live my life, but was cute because we were kids at the prom.
But I do think it’s good to sometimes take a step back and think about what the hell we’re actually doing.
I remember, as a teenager, taking a step back and seeing that the Pledge of Allegiance is fucking creepy and un-American, at least when schoolchildren are coerced into performing it. Are we North Koreans? Who ritualistically pledges fealty to a flag while speaking in unison? Fucking creepy. Like one of those synchronized dances wherein fifty thousand hungry children form the shape of the Dear Leader’s heavenly visage.
Sometimes, you don’t think about the cultural rigmarole you’re running yourself through.