Once upon a time, the cure for hysteria was orgasm. Ye olde brain doctor would give female patients a diddle and presto, no more hysteria. (At least until tomorrow.) Now that the modern world has made pretty much all of us hysterical, it’s still common practice to use the sweet release of orgasm to achieve a sunnier outlook on life…and the people of the OneTaste Orgasmic Meditation community have taken that practice to a whole new level.
According to the OneTaste website, orgasmic meditation grew out of the idea that many modern humans (especially women) lead an orgasm deficient lifestyle: “Like Vitamin C, orgasm is a nutrient that has been missing from the standard human diet for centuries.” And orgasmic meditation is their way of fixing that, lest we should get scurvy of the soul.
To carry out this new agey spiritual practice, a woman lies on her back in a comfortable position and starts to meditate. Her designated stroker then fondles her clitoris for 15 minutes, helping her clear her mind and get her groove on…and then it’s over. So simple! So pure! So…awkward sounding! But if practitioners’ glowing faces (above) and testimonials are to be believed, it’s a clear road to transcendental bliss.
“My whole life I’d been going along thinking there was something wrong with me,” writes one satisfied woman. “That my pussy didn’t work right, that I wasn’t meant to get-off in sex; that I was resigned to pumping away, half dry, until my partner came…Then came OneTaste. With a new way of looking at things, they said, ‘What you experience in intimate connection with another human being is Orgasm. When you go into an involuntary state in your body, where you’re not constantly thinking or analyzying, and you’re simply feeling, you’re experiencing Orgasm.’” Long story short, she was able to stop stressing about climaxing for long enough to actually achieve it, and now she’s a happy camper.
But what do the men get out of it? Other than ultimate mastery of the clit, I mean? “What men get out of OMing is learning how a woman’s body feels and works and consequently, learning how a woman works,” one clit commander tells Cosmo. “Some guys come into class like, ‘When do I get mine?’ And that attitude is a prison. For most of my life, I thought if I could be a good enough giver, I could get something in return. And what I realized is that attitude robbed me of the actual pleasure I could feel in handling a woman’s body, especially her p*ssy. It’s like saying, ‘I’m touching velvet to make velvet feel good but I’m not gonna pay attention to the fact that velvet feels amazing to my hand.’” So basically, they gain mastery over the clit and become better people. Win win.
While the skeptic in me thinks that it would not be necessary for women to get fingered by strangers if they could just get their partners and/or themselves to focus more on those magical bundles of nerves poking out of their groins like so many cute little penises (without which an estimated two-thirds of women cannot climax), there is something sort of beautiful about this experience. I can totally see how doing OM with a man who is there purely for your pleasure could be freeing for someone who is cool with being masturbated by a stranger. And lest you think the men are just in it to touch hot ladies’ vulvas, here’s what the same guy had to say about that:
Some of the hottest OMs I’ve ever had have been with women who were so outside of my idea of someone I would date or sleep with it would blow your mind. We’re talking old, smelly, fat, you name it, all the things I’m not supposed to like as a super fit, foxy, 30-year-old guy. I’ve had some of the most heart-stoppingly awesome, super easy to enjoy, rock and roll OMs with these women. And that’s where I learn how to grow my heart.
Orgasmic meditation: bring us your tired, your poor, your smelly masses yearning to cum free.