• Fri, Jun 7 - 1:01 pm ET

Living In Mississippi Is The Equivalent To Living In A Third World Country For Women

mississippi-literacyIf you’re living in Mississippi you should move. I’m serious. Mississippi is completely dreadful. It’s humid, it’s one of the most conservative states in the nation, and has a governor, Phil Bryant, who blames the fall of society on the fact that women — gasp! — went out into the workplace instead of staying home barefoot and preggers, making more babies and waiting on their man. Bryant actually firmly believes this to be the absolute truth. Look at yourselves, women of the United States! YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING. Now get back in that kitchen and make a bundt cake for your hubby.

But it’s not just the governor that makes Mississippi the less than stellar place that it is (although he’s, by no means, helping), but there are also a bunch of other factors that contribute to it. As The Daily Beast reports:

It has the nation’s highest poverty rate, its second-highest teen pregnancy rate, and its highest teen birth rate. An Education Week report ranks its schools 48 out of 50. Only Louisiana locks up a higher percentage of its people. Its infant mortality rate—9.67 deaths per 1,000 live births, the highest in the nation—is close to Botswana’s. Its life expectancy is the lowest in America and lower than those of Guatemala or Pakistan. Few states invest less in public education or public health. If it were an independent country, we’d consider it part of the Third World.


It’s also “one of only four states” that has never, ever sent a woman to Congress to represent their wonky state. Why? Well, as we already covered, women have their place and it’s definitely not in the world of the men-folk. You see, women can’t handle being in Congress. Women are likely to cry, take off every time they have their menses, then leave work early to buy shoes.

But don’t you fret, my furry pets! Because Bryant is on the case to fixing all these “issues” in his state. As long as he can keep women out of Congress, and some how pass a law making it completely illegal for a woman to leave the house without her caveman husband’s permission, he will be well on his way to creating a perfect society. However, in the meantime he’s going to tackle that pesky high teen pregnancy rate. He may not have succeeded in outlawing birth control, the morning after pill and abortion, but this new brilliant idea definitely makes sense. Are you ready? Great. Let’s go!

On Monday, NPR reported on a new Mississippi law mandating the collection of cord blood from babies born to girls under 16. The idea, apparently, is that DNA could identify fathers who have passed through the criminal justice system and who might be statutory rapists, hence discouraging older men from impregnating younger girls. “Too many of these young teens are becoming pregnant against their will,” Bryant said.

What the fucking fuck?

Yes, let’s try to take away access to birth control, rob a woman’s right over her own reproductive organs, and invade her privacy instead. THIS MAKES MORE SENSE THAN I’M EVEN CAPABLE OF WRAPPING MY BRAIN AROUND THAT’S WHY I SIT HERE BEFORE YOU CONFUSED AS FUCK.

It doesn’t seem to matter to Bryant that 65% of pregnancies in Mississippi are the result of two teens, with less than two years between them in age, getting it on in the back of some car somewhere without proper protection. No, the real people to blame for all this pregnancy are criminals, because only criminals have the necessary potency to get girls knocked up.

Then, because that paragraph wasn’t face-palm-worthy enough, with two women being prosecuted under Mississippi’s murder statutes simply because they had drugs in their system at the time they suffered stillbirths, we are to understand that forced retrieval of blood gives even more of an excuse to prosecute the women in these horrible situations. You suffered a stillbirth? Well, now you’re going to jail. Murderer!

It’s a big old mess, and proof that, on a whole, women aren’t exactly being treated like human beings down there in Mississippi.

It’s hard to believe, as a New Yorker who has lived her entire life well north of the Mason Dixon that this shit is still happening in the country in which I live, and in the year 2013. It’s almost inconceivable to understand that when it comes to safe sex and protecting our teenagers from unwanted pregnancies, we have people in government doing everything they can to stand in the way of the health and the future of our younger generations.

We shouldn’t punish women who have sex by denying them access to protection, and the rights over their own body. But, hey, if the leaders of Mississippi want to be regarded as being on the same level as a third world country by the rest of us, then that’s they’re jam. I just wouldn’t advise anyone I love that they move there anytime soon.

I’ll say it again: what the fucking fuck?

Photo: ThirdWorldCountry

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  • Sean

    Wow. I’m sorry I have nothing intelligent to say, just, wow.

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  • Amanda Chatel

    Hey! It’s my friends, Sean and Alle!

  • Tania

    At the top, it says (for me) that this was posted 5 hours ago, but the comments say they were posted a day ago. What is this sorcery?

    And that is horrible. Sometimes I look at the Bible Belt down south and I feel so sorry for all the non-crazy Americans I know who have to be associated with those states simply by living in the same country.

  • tequila mockingbird

    How absolutely awful.

    (&, not to be pedantic, but it’s “bundt” cake.)

    • Amanda Chatel

      Ooops! Changed! Thank you. (I don’t think I’ve ever even had a bundt cake.)

  • kevin mac

    let me tell you that Mississippi is the most generous state in the US and has some of the kindest people that exist. We have more famous people and successful athletes that come from our beautiful state than any other state in the Union and when Katrina came through we pulled ourselves up by the bootstraps and got busy handling the repair ourselves! We didn’t sit around whining waiting on someone to rescue us, We also have more African American elected officials than any other state. We have our issues like all other states but let me tell you young lady… Many people choose to be in the situation they are in because they are waiting for someone else to take care of them. Guess what, they aren’t going to. I don’t know if you live here or you are just one of those folks that read something and believe it and draw the conclusions you drew. or you have some other reason. If you are shallow you will continue to make those type of comments you made without any real basis of knowledge. Come to Mississippi and see for yourself…then make a comment.

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