• Mon, Jun 10 - 4:40 pm ET

Red Carpet Rundown: Mostly Ugly Dresses & Surprisingly Bright Suits At Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards

Spike TV Guys Choice Awards 2013

While we are well aware that fashion isn’t really the main focus of Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards, we still have to admit: its red carpet was pretty awful. The multitudes of short, black, leopard-print dresses, the ill-fitting suits, the superfluous lace, the cutouts — oh, the cutouts.

To be fair, this is exactly what one should expect from an awards show with categories like “Most Unstoppable Jock,” “Hottest A(l)lison” and “Jean-Claude Gahd Dam.” But still, let’s take a look at this ridiculousness. Plus, there are like 2 to 3 people who look almost good!

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Jessica Alba attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Let’s start with the good! Jessica Alba looked very, very nice. Not sure I’m fond of the texture here, but the color combo looked awesome and different than everyone else’s outfits.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Professional wrestler Mickie James attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Professional wrestler Mickie James: short, black, sparkly.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Chrissy Teigen attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Model Chrissy Teigen: short, black, sparkly.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Model Jade Bryce attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Model Jade Bryce: short, cut-out (kinda?), matches floor. Oh, and has the ugliest shoes I’ve seen in ages. An ugliness that is exponentially multiplied by the leopard floor. For more on this awful look, please see our full explanation on why it completely sucks.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Model Jade Bryce attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Spike TV)

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Snoop Dogg attends Spike TV's 'Guys Choice 2013' at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

I genuinely appreciate any red carpet rundown wherein I can comment on the outfit of Snoop Dogg Lion Dogg. What was I gonna say about it, again? Oh, doesn’t matter. It’s just Snoop. Hi, Snoop.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Model Katherine Webb attends Spike TV's 'Guys Choice 2013' at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Spike TV)

I want to have a blowout just like Katherine Webb‘s errday ever.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Daredevil Felix Baumgartner attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Remember that guy who jumped out of a helium balloon from space? His name is Felix Baumgartner and he is wearing a maroon suit.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: (L-R) Actors Adam DeVine, Anders Holm, and Blake Anderson attend Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

HI DERS I LOVE YOU FOREVER. I mean, uh, these are the guys from Workaholics: Adam Devine, Anders Holm and Blake Anderson.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Musician Ahmir 'Questlove' Thompson of The Roots attends Spike TV's 'Guys Choice 2013' at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Questlove being Questlove being Questlove. Insert smiley heart emoji.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Actor Kevin Hart attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Comedian and actor Kevin Hart looked totally awesome.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Actor Jeff Bridges attends Spike TV's 'Guys Choice 2013' at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

I know this doesn’t really show Jeff Bridges‘ outfit but OMG.

CULVER CITY, CA - JUNE 08: Chef Graham Elliot attends Spike TV's Guys Choice 2013 at Sony Pictures Studios on June 8, 2013 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Spike TV)

Not gonna lie, I’m a little shocked that more guys besides Graham Elliot weren’t wearing a tux-printed shirt…I’m pretty sure this outfit sums up the general theme perfectly.

Now, for the other dress Jessica Alba wore, Jennifer Aniston‘s awful hair, several amazing group shots and Burt Reynolds wearing makeup, check out page 2.

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  • jacaline

    I’m so obsessed with Bradley Cooper, but I’m still disappointed that child he is “dating” was with him.

  • Pixie

    Burt Reynolds kind of looks like he’s wearing a skin mask….as in a mask made of human skin…

  • ascholarsparrot

    Jackie. Effing. Chan. This just became the best awards show ever.