If Your Old Clothes Don’t Fit, Buy New Ones: Baby Advice From Pippa Middleton Parody Twitter

pippa middleton baby book

“Home births are all the rage. These are like other births, but at one of your homes.”

Have an expectant friend who needs a gift but already owns Go The Fuck To Sleep? Well she can never have too many parody baby books for cool parents, so it’s a good thing another one is coming out.

The Pippa Middleton Tips parody Twitter account @pippatips has gotten a book deal, and for once we’re able to look at a parody Twitter account book with something more than envy, because this one’s pretty funny. It has high production values, colorful photos, and tips like:

“Your doctor or midwife will ask you for your family history. If you don’t have this available as a published volume, a simple list of names and incomes should suffice.”

“If you need handy excuses to explain why you’re not eating or drinking certain things, why not try these: ‘This shellfish isn’t sustainably sourced’; ‘Thank you, no, I’m eating at the palace later’.”

“Your baby may now be able to hear sounds from outside the womb. This is a prime opportunity to start to teach them a second language or the harp.”

“Giving birth can smart a bit, so relieve the pain by taking every drug you’re offered. It is, however, considered bad form to bring your own.”

The parody Pippa Middleton baby book, When One Is Expecting: A Posh Person’s Guide To Pregnancy And Parenting  is written in the style of the real Pippa Middleton’s not very well received party-planning book, Celebrate!, which inspired the creation of the parody Twitter in the first place. The real Pippa Middleton’s book dispenses valuable advice like, “If you live near the sea, a fun idea could be a trip to the beach with seaside activities, such as building sandcastles.”

Since Middleton’s book arrived ripe for parody, @pippatips set up shop right away, offering similarly helpful advice like, “Dressing up in nice clothes is a stylish way to look great at a party.” Now she has nearly 50,000 followers and a pretty sweet book deal.

“A publisher made a pleasing financial offer so after a few moments of hard thought the idea for When One Is Expecting just popped into my head,” the anonymous Twitter author explained.

Via The Daily Mail/Photo: Facebook/Icon Books

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