• Thu, Jun 13 2013

Red Carpet Rundown: The MySpace Launch Event’s Guests Wore Exclusively Awful Fashion Disasters

MySpace Launch Event Red Carpet

First of all, before you even ask: yes, Myspace still exists! No, we are not sure how or why. What we can tell you is that they are still making enough money to throw giant, celebrity-studded events in Los Angeles, complete with a red carpet full of famous and not-so-famous faces.

Unfortunately, last night’s Myspace Launch Event’s attendees apparently adhered to a strict dress code: awful. Just…awful. No, really — I’m pretty sure every single person’s stylist needs to change their bong water. Have we learned nothing from Chloe Sevigny‘s words? (Answer: No. Of course not. Nobody in Hollywood learns anything, apparently.) In all seriousness, this is quite possibly the worst red carpet I have ever seen. I haven’t been doing this long, and it’s got varying degrees of bad; there are certainly some worse than others. But overall, it’s just so devoid of anything remotely good.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Vanessa Hudgens attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Ripped jeans, a cross necklace and high heels? Vanessa Hudgens, oh dear.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Ashley Tisdale attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Ashley Tisdale: as relevant as Myspace and as well-dressed as your middle schooler cousin who finally discovered Wet Seal.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress/recording artist Miley Cyrus attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

We’ve been over thisMiley Cyrus: you win the title of “The Worst.”

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: JoJo attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

I once dated a guy who loved Jojo. We broke the fuck up.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Jennifer Morrison attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Jennifer Morrison, I can’t even with you right now.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Recording artist Miriam Nervo (L) and Olivia Nervo attend the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California.

Fun story: I once saw Nervo at an event where they were supposed to be DJing. Instead, they just let music play while they posed for pictures (using peace signs, of course). It was kind of depressing.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Kimberly Cole attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Even Coachella wouldn’t let Kimberly Cole in. Thusly, she went to Myspace, which welcomes literally anybody, apparently.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Kimberly Cole attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

No comment.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Amy Smart attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

I give Amy Smart props for at least wearing jeans without rips in them.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Dianna Agron attends the new Myspace launch event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California

Dianna Agron‘s outfit restored a slight bit of faith in my humanity.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Kelly Osbourne attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

 

You know your event is in trouble when Tara Reid is one of the better-dressed people there.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Kelly Osbourne attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Bridow/WENN.com

Kelly Osbourne opted for a lovely hairstyle (I have a feeling that won’t be a popular opinion, though) and a simple dress.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Olivia Wilde attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Olivia Wilde, you are too cool to not be better at this whole “dressing yourself” thing.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Roxane Mesquida attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Roxane Mesquida wore brights really well. There, I said something nice! (But seriously, she really does look lovely.)

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Leah LaBelle attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Note to Leah LaBelle and errbody else: stop with the absurdly ripped jeans, simple shirt and casual hat look. It looks silly, and we all know you spent hundreds of dollars on such a ridiculously bad look.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actor Emile Hirsch attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Even Emile Hirsch looks embarrassed to be there.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Nana attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

While I do not like Nana‘s shoes one bit, at least she’s doing something interesting that doesn’t involve ugly ripped shorts or ugly ripped jeans.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Sanaa Lathan attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)Sanaa Lathan also looks significantly better than most. That belt isn’t a great color with the rest of the outfit, but her makeup is gorgeous.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Recording artist Melody Thornton attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Melody Thornton: Nah.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 12: Actress Caroline D'Amore attends the Myspace Event at the El Rey Theatre on June 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Why are you, Caroline D’Amore?

Photos: Getty Images.

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  • jamiepeck

    Myspace didn’t tell them to dress like that! Don’t knock the new Myspace ’til you try it. (Full disclosure: I write about music for the new Myspace.)

  • Tania

    I don’t know who Nana is (and google didn’t help me find out), but she looks like a caricature drawing of a real person. Something about the size of her hat/hair with the size of her dress/jacket/sweater thing.

    • KNotere6488

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  • Katy Hearne

    WHAT? what? what is Nevro & what what what what?
    Also… something something about 90′s denim.

  • chrissycarnage

    Is it just me or is this ‘Nana’s” head disproportionately enormous?

  • Jessica

    Am I the only person on Earth who will not buy a pair of shoes if they do not cover the creases where my toes meet my foot?

  • Anonachocolatemousse

    My eyes have glazed over from the sea of bad denim and washed up starlets.