• Fri, Jun 14 2013

Things For Which I Would Most Readily Consider Hypnosis, A La Kate Middleton

kate middleton hypnosis

Hey, have you heard about that Kate Middleton lady? She is allegedly giving birth soon to a baby. A baby human. I know, I know; nobody tells you anything!

So, Middleton is reportedly looking into having a HypnoBirth, meaning she would by hypnotized in order to ease the pains of childbirth. When I first read that, I was admittedly confused. Don’t you have to be in a relaxed state to ge hypnotized? I pondered. Isn’t that literally the least relaxing state there can possibly be?

However, HypnoBirthing is apparently a real method of helping mothers in labor. Besides reminding me that so many people desperately need a web developer’s assistance, the HypnoBirthing website explains that it’s “a unique method of relaxed, natural childbirth education, enhanced by self-hypnosis techniques.” It helps women figure out how to relax their bodies while staying alert throughout the birthing process.

Now, all that is well and good, and very fascinating indeed, but it got me (admittedly selfishly) thinking: What would I used self-hypnosis for? In general, not just in relation to pregnancy, labor or babies. Well, not related to them at all, actually. What I have determined is that I will primarily use self-hypnosis for the purposes of not embarrassing myself so f’ing much.

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  • Sean

    OH GOD I LOVE ICE CREAM CAKE WITH THE LITTLE CRUMBLY COOKIE BITS MORE THAN ANY OTHER FORM OF FOOD OR MUSIC OR SEX OH GOD I WANT SOME NOW.

  • http://blisstree.com/ Carrie Murphy

    I actually got hypnosis for my highway driving anxiety. It didn’t really help.

  • anna

    My employer is attending some hypno therapy seminar and tried to use it on me to stop biting my nails. It did nothing but that may have been because the whole time i kept squawking “i don’t feel anything eva i don’t think it’s working eva what’s going on now”.
    so maybe if i shut up it would work

    • anna

      also you still write checks sam? i actually wrote my first check the other day when i realized i left my cash and card at home. i didn’t know how and i felt dumb and not like a grownup.