The other night in London, Rihanna continued to test the limits of what she can pull off when she wore a curious ensemble out to local hotspot The Cuckoo Club. It is a testament to the pop star’s confident attitude that my first thought upon seeing her in what appears to be an oversized Fruit Of The Loom t-shirt, accessorized with designer bling, no pants and thigh-high boots was “Yup, there’s Rihanna, looking cool again.”
But does she? Let’s talk this out. On closer examination, she’s not just wearing an oversized t-shirt, but an oversized mullet t-shirt with gold zippers on the shoulders and sides:
Is it even possible to put gold zippers on an oversized men’s nightshirt and turn it into fashion that way?
She also broke the cardinal rule of t-shirt dresses (and the no pants look in general), which is “don’t let your underwear show”:
But the highlight of this outfit, of course, was the kicky pair of peep-toe thigh-high boots printed all over with a black and white, art-like pattern, which her “baby daddy” Tom Ford appears to have recently gifted her, according to this Instagram post:
Sam says they remind her of H.R. Giger; perhaps Ri Ri’s next video will resemble some sort of nightmarish, futuristic, biomechanical hellscape? Like the Necronomicon paintings, but with way more butt cleavage? (Full disclosure: I really like these boots.)
Did Tom Ford father an illegitimate child that Rihanna has thus far managed to hide from the prying eyes of the press? Is Rihanna’s willingness to hold her own umba-rella canceled out by the fact that she seems like a bit of an umba-rella hog? Most importantly: is this outfit, in fact, well-put together or is she just exploiting the fact that she could go out in nothing but a Halloween mask and some Chanel bangles and people would still love the way she looks? How do you feel?