Cathryn Berarovich is something of a renaissance sex worker; she’s currently employed as a pro-domme at a fetish house but has held numerous interesting jobs in the adult industry. Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.
I write a lot about the nightmare clients, the guys who I absolutely cannot stand, and I suspect my stories so far have given the wrong impression. It isn’t that I hate my clients, I just write a lot about the bad ones because they make better stories. It isn’t really fun to read about a guy with whom I had fun. It’s a lot more fun to read about a man who gets so drunk he is barely coherent, or a man who is so lonely he has moved into creepy territory and tracked me down, called my home number, and talked to my mother.
The thing is, most of my clients aren’t like that. Most of my clients are either boring or genuinely wonderful and it’s these wonderful men who make my job so worthwhile. The thing is, there are two kinds of clients, the men who pay because they want to–whether because they can’t or don’t want to come out as submissives to their wives or girlfriends or because they simply don’t have time for a romantic relationship–and the men who pay because they have to. The majority of clients I see are of the first variety, and I love them as much as I hate the second variety.
I’ve mentioned before that part of the reason why I love sex work so much is the way it allows me to help people. I like to think I help all my clients in one way or another. Sex is right smack in the middle of the hierarchy of needs, and while some of my clients do have sex with their wives or girlfriends, very few of them get the kind of sex they need.
Probably the most common argument against what I do is the old, “It’s not even natural–can’t these sick fucks just have normal sex with their wives? Why do they have to go to you?” and yeah, I get how someone might think that. It’s really easy to rationalize away the need for something a bit more involved than middle of the road vanilla sex if that’s where your interests lie, but if it isn’t (and it certainly isn’t where my interests lie) the idea of my clients giving up kink in order to honor a commitment they made to a woman they don’t even feel safe sharing their perversions with is absurd.
Deciding not to have pervert sex for whatever reason–whether because it freaks your partner out or because you think it’s wrong–is really, really fucking rough. It’s like drinking black coffee every day for years when you prefer lots of sugar and hazelnut creamer. It’s still coffee, which is better than no coffee, but it gets really depressing after not very long.