Any day I get to break out the eccentric millionaires tag is probably a good day.
Chilean aristocrat/New York transplant/master of insultsÂ Micky Hurley recently found himself in a financial dispute with someone who had done a bit of photography work for his interior design business. You see, photographer Roque Rodriguez thought he was entitled to be paid the agreed upon $240 for his work before he turned it over, while Hurley did not think he should have to pay him until afterwards. So he did what anyone in his position would do: he
dug up some old emails to prove he was rightÂ hit the guy back with an insane rant about how he was worthless “street trash” who would never be 10% as noble as Micky Hurley.
MAIL DE HURLEY:
Read carefully what I am writing here, as it will be the last time I do so. Listen you poor, miserable, ROTEQUE [Ed note: "Roteque" does not have a direct translation to English. It implies someone from a lower class and is an incredibly offensive word. The most awful adjective you can think of], low-born social climber. Delete your grubby photos. DON’T COME THREATENING ME YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE SHIT. NEVER. Remember, you are ALWAYS going to be from a different class, you were born where you were born, and even if you were reborn a billion times, you will never have a Baroness for a grandmother like me.
[Nice incorporation of Eastern religion, there!]
This is what I get for working with street trash like you. For your information, the photos on my webpage, the ones that I have not bothered updating, are from STYLING. I don’t have to fake my way through with other peoples’ work. They know my work, they know I have a good eye, and I’ve been on the cover of magazines a number of times.
[Not sure what point he is trying to prove with "STYLING," but it seems from earlier emails like he used some of Roque's work on his website without paying or crediting him, which might be why he wanted to get paid first this time.]
Whatâ€™s more, you wretch, in April Architectural Design is coming to photograph the apartment I am decorating in Miami. With all of its Matisse, Dufy, and Bonard paintings. So I guess you can see, you idiot, the level Iâ€™m on. [Really, you should be paying Micky for the mere privilege of gazing upon his work.] Oh! and the gentleman from Sutton Place asked me to renovate his home in Greenwich…what do you think of that? Jealous?? I would have paid you your miserable US$240 immediately if you if youâ€™d delivered the work first, AS IT SHOULD BE. Delete my email address and all of my information. You, parvenu, are dead to me. Malu once asked me how I could trust you so much. Itâ€™s obvious now, when you give poor trash an inch, they take a mile.
[Because getting this upset over owing someone $240 is something only the classiest people do.]
You screwed me over with the Lo Curro photos, very unprofessional. Just remember, because you have angered me you will NEVER work for ANY magazine or newspaper in Chile.
Goodbye, great-grandson of a seamstress.
[Seamstressing is a depraved craft practiced only by inverts and harlots.]
HURLEY & CO.
Hope he’s not too attached to his super impressive blue blood name, because he might not like his Google results after this.
Hurley and his wife Malu Custer EdwardsÂ have also been in the news lately because their former nanny, who is suing them,Â says they paid her $2/hour and kept her in abusive, slave-like conditions. So factor that into your assessment.
A cursory glance at Hurley’s (still semi-public!) Facebook page reveals further evidence that he is the fucking worst:
Immediately after this last photo was taken, Hurley made two bums fight to the death for his cylinder of hilarious peasant food.