• Wed, Jun 26 2013

11 Things You Should Never Tell A Couple In Their Late 20s Or Early 30s

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My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years, have lived together for three, have parented a beloved dog for two, and have avoided engagement conversion for one. We’ve been through just about everything together — sickness, health, countless jobs, friends’ weddings, family funerals, a couple lawsuits, and a bunch of awkward holiday parties.  
 
Through our time together, we’ve encountered too many unprompted questions and comments about the future of our relationship. Unless you are my Jewish mother, you are not allowed to ask me about my ring finger or ovaries. Here are some things you should never, ever tell an unmarried couple in their late 20s or early 30s… 

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  • Judy

    Ughhh. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about three years and are currently living about an hour and a half away from each other. I’m constantly fending off questions about “doesn’t it bother you?” and “when do you think you’ll move in together?” Yes, it bothers me! I don’t know, maybe when both of us have a stable job and can afford a nice place together? I understand that other people who think they have successful relationships feel the need to share this wisdom with other people they’ve deemed less fortunate in the dating realm, but please, leave me alone. I’m quite content with the way things are and frankly, hearing about other peoples’ perfect relationships grosses me out. No one is that perfect.

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      they have successful relationships feel the need to share this wisdom
      with other people they’ve deemed less fortunate in the dating realm, but
      please, leave me alone. I’m quite content with the way things are and
      frankly, hearing about other peoples’ perfect relationships grosses me
      out. No one is that perfect.

  • Emily

    Thank you for this. Seriously. Thank you.

  • Naomi

    “My mother said we waited too long, and a 30 year old woman should throw her own wedding.”
    … Wow.

  • Benita

    You shouldn’t say any of these things to any couple, regardless of their age.

  • Eileen

    I like how most of these just assume the woman wants to get married and is waiting for a proposal. Because that’s…normal? As for the rest, I kind of accepted when I was 16 that my family would keep asking the following sequence…

    1) So, are you dating anyone?
    2) So, are you two going to get engaged?
    3) So, when’s the wedding?
    4) So, when are you going to have a baby?
    5) So, when are you going to have another?
    6-7) [Repeat question 5]

    …until I was married with four children.

  • Amanda

    Believe it or not, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years since I was 15, we’re now 20 & very serious & we get a lot of year questions. People ask all the time when he’s going to pop the question, if we want kids, etc. I’m 20 years old, I don’t even know what I want for dinner half of the time. I mean, we’d like to get married when we’re both done school, but right now it’s out of the question and extremely rude to ask. He doesn’t have parents, mine are as poor as dirt. Unless you want to personally help with my expenses, don’t ask me about anything like that.