• Thu, Jun 27 - 10:40 am ET

8 Things That WIll Not Happen If Gay Marriage Is Legalized

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  • Cee

    I went to WeHo yesterday (obvi) to hear the lawyers and couples who went to the Supreme Court on Prop 8 speak on the road to getting marriage reinstated in California and the removal of DOMA. I have never been around WeHo and it clearly is very gay, but I saw a lot of straight young couples that seem to live around the area. So in response to the last guy, he should go around gay areas. The booze is cheaper and the company is fabulous, plus there seems to be an overabundance of cute dogs!

    • http://poorgoop.com/ Samantha

      … and in the case of WeHo, there’s also an abundance of Hasidic Jews! If that’s his thing.

    • Cee

      Yes! Bagels and delis for everyone!

    • jack_sprat2

      The combination of free sex and deli has killed many a good Jewish man. LOL

    • http://poorgoop.com/ Samantha

      … and in the case of WeHo, there’s also an abundance of Hasidic Jews! If that’s his thing.

    • JennyWren

      I had always heard that “gay” neighborhoods acquire rock-solid housing prices, because it’s generally assumed that the area in general will be progressive, modern, and will have an incredible sense of color use. I guess that just means more great restaurants, vegan bakeries and specialty bookstores for the rest of us!

    • Cee

      From my experience with WeHo (mostly gay dudes), Long Beach (mostly lesbians), San Francisco….you’re pretty spot on. Personally, I could do away with the overabundance of gay flags tho

    • jack_sprat2

      Eventually, it’ll be an historical curiosity, like the Friends of Dorothy.

    • LynnKell

      I’ve been to gay clubs and those have been the best nights of my life: fairly priced booze, awesome music, great dancers… I just said that I’m straight and none unwanted approach was made.
      You go gay marriage, gay rights and gay neighborhoods!!

    • Samantha_Escobar

      You know, come to think of it, I have only had unwanted, aggressive sexual attention at non-gay bars. Hrm.

    • LynnKell

      Exactly. I’ve been unwantedly approached way more by straight men in situations as riddiculous as buying pads than by lesbian women. I have a bunch of lesbian friends, I just made clear girls aren’t my thing and that was it.

    • jack_sprat2

      On the other hand, it’s not too difficult to find gay bars where the men aren’t necessarily safer than a straight guy would be at a kicker bar or blind pig.

  • Elizabeth Alexander

    i think my favourite thing about this whole same-sex marriage debate in the states is that they (being the ridiculous opposers) think they are being so revolutionary because obviously no other country in the world has even thought about gay marriage and therefore there will obviously be terrible consequences *sarcasm*. Like really, this isn’t something that hasn’t been done before. As a Canadian I can safely say that all of the above points are true. everything will be ok!
    but good on SCOTUS for getting their act together and being on the right side of history!

    • Tania

      Right? I was just talking to my coworker about how ridiculous this whole thing seems. How often do I have to hear about gay marriage? When someone I know who is gay gets married. End of story.

      And so far, no one has attempted to make marrying pets or children legal, too! SCORE.

    • jack_sprat2

      Nonsense. It’s been more or less mandated, several times, in areas governed by Islamic law.

  • cmichelle

    You know what else isn’t going to happen? Churches aren’t going to be forced to perform same-sex marriage ceremonies. A few friends use this as one of their arguments, and I want to shake them. I didn’t get married in a church because 1) I’m not Christian and 2) it would have been disingenuous and not representative of my husband or me. Likewise, most gay and lesbian couples looking to get married would like to have their ceremony reflect their beliefs and lives.

    You know what might happen? Or rather, will happen? My happiness will increase if my friends who love each other dearly are able to get married and have the same spousal benefits I have.

  • jack_sprat2

    Did you ever imagine that hundreds of female schoolteachers would be sexing up their young, younger, youngest charges? Or that a woman would lead some random little kid into the bathroom in a large store, where her BF would manually rape the kid on the changing table. Or that another would sex up the babysitter, at her husband’s direction, as he Skyped from Afghanistan?

    Y’all kept us from doing some of the worst things, for centuries. Now, you’re all seemingly bound and determined to never “harsh anybody’s mellow, man”. If not you, then the next one.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      wut

  • Monie

    I’m a nobody and a straight, middle aged, widowed woman. Here’s my take on this. How about DOMA leave everyone alone? They’re an evil entity. Gay and lesbian couples hurt me ZERO. Their marriages affect me ZERO. Their happiness does; however. I wish all people happiness, weather straight, gay, whatever. Same sex unions will lead to beastiality? Really? How about Kentucky look that up, because THAT is legal in their State…same sex marriage is not. To those who oppose same sex marriage, I’d like you to just gert over it. Let’s concentrate on something really important like the hungry children in my State. How’s that?

    • Samantha_Escobar

      :) :) :)