How To Convince Everyone You’re F*cking Fancy, Even If You’re Not

Fancy. As. Fuck.

Fancy. As. Fuck.

It’s hard when you have an ego the size of Kanye West, but not the celebrity factor to go with it. There’s nothing sadder than an ego maniac who has yet to reach the levels of stardom and recognition that they firmly believe they deserve. If you thought unlocked potential was something to weep over, just think about unlocked narcissism. How do you feel? Are you sad inside at this thought? Good; you should be. It’s a fucking tragedy.

As a regular person out in the world, it’s not always easy to convey to those around you just how fucking fancy you are. You could try to write a song entitled, “I Am God,” but without living in the public eye, it would be a waste. You also don’t have the necessary attorney team to fight Mr. West on that one. You could drunkenly pull a Beth “Google me, bitches” Ditto, but that, unless Google has been stockpiling clips on your every move, will also get you nowhere.

So in this day of one-upping, and in this society where narcissism is embraced, how do you convince everyone in your path that you’re fucking fancy? You wear a damn hat, of course.

Photo: We Know Memes

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    • Sean

      Ooo! You can also hire one of those companies that send people to follow you around paparazzi style so it looks like you’re important. If you look super annoyed, and maybe even punch one, no one will ever doubt your fanciness.