An angry mob fifteen people is planning to protest Taylor Swift‘s upcoming concert in Kansas City, Missouri, and not because they find her ubiquitous pop hits saccharine and annoying. They are protesting because Taylor Swift is a painted, immodest jezebel who is dragging America’s virtue further down the toilet with each new hot famous dude she dates and subsequently writes breakup songs about.
The ever media savvy Westboro Baptist “God hates fags” Church has announced its intentions in a press release, writing:
One simple tweet from her: ‘Stop fornicating ladies, and obey God’ would rock the house. But it would cost her millions she makes with her sin-coddling songs. Taylor Swift uses the talent God gave her to warble about fornication.”
“Taylor tries to pretend that she’s a good Christian,” elaborated church leader Ben Phelps to Radar in an interview, “but she’s not. When she has a huge platform like that, a huge influence on young women like that, she’s got a duty to tell about God’s standards. And she has absolutely failed.” He also called her “the whorish face of doomed America” and attacked her “immodest, vulgar appearance” and “serial fornication.” Do you hear that, Taylor Swift? You are no longer permitted to date, because now all your young fans think it’s okay for them to date, too, and we simply can’t have that. The power of Christ compels you!
While it would be tempting to view this as fair comeuppance for all the slut-shaming TaySwift does in her lyrics, I am going to be the bigger (only?) feminist in this equation and point out the obvious, namely that it’s not okay to slut-shame anyone, even someone who’s a slut-shamer, herself. That said, being attacked by well-known crazies will most likely only stir up public sympathy for Tay Tay, despite the fact that she’s probably too busy counting fat stacks and burning boxes of relationship mementos to give two shits about any of this.