• Fri, Jul 5 2013

Jennifer Aniston Is Far More Pure Than You With Her ‘Purified System’

Jennifer Aniston is not loving it.

Jennifer Aniston is not loving it.

Sometimes, famous people, even those as fit and fab as Jennifer Aniston, are forced to be just like an average human on the street and eat something dreadful. I’m not suggesting that one of these nights you’ll find Aniston dumpster-diving in a dumpster near you, but she has — gasp! — eaten McDonald’s, and guess what? She hated it, because her body is such a fucking “purified system,” it can’t even handle such nastiness.

On a recent road trip with fiancé, Justin Theroux, Aniston admitted that without any other possibility of food in sight, she was forced to indulge in the culinary greatness that is McDonald’s. Seriously. Have you had their hashbrowns? Especially when you’re hungover? C’est perfection, my friends.

However, Aniston’s experience with the Big Mac wasn’t exactly stellar.

“I’ll never forget when Justin and I were on a road trip and we were so hungry,” Aniston explains, continuing, “The only thing around was McDonald’s. I think I ordered a Big Mac. Wow, my body did not react well to that! It was like putting gasoline in a purified system. I am always trying to eat organic and natural foods, so that just made my stomach turn and made me feel terrible. And I think what you put in your body, as well as stress, is reflected in the quality of your skin.”

“Gasoline in a purified system,” you guys. I’m so happy her body is so pure and perfect and awesome. I wish I could boast such a thing, but as I already mentioned, I like to indulge in McDonald’s hash browns a few times a year.

The actress who, may or may not ever actually tie the knot with Theroux, went on to explain the importance of water, exercise and clean food when it comes to keeping your body looking and feeling great. That’s all well and good, but I sometimes think celebrities fail to point out the obvious — their personal trainer, and sometimes even a personal live-in chef.

It’s great to preach things about body health and wellness, but at the end of the day, on top of all that work, there’s a personal trainer behind it all kicking their asses into shape. And, of course, making sure they stay away from the gasoline that is a Big Mac.

I suddenly no longer crave those awesome hash browns. I’m, for some reason, hankering for some gasoline instead. It must be because I’m not famous, or something.

Photo: McDonald’s 

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  • kj

    To be fair, I tend to get a bit queasy when I eat McDonalds after eating really “Clean” for an extended period of time, but I guess that there are less pretentious ways of describing this experience……

  • Sean

    Poor Jennifer. She’ll be screwed after the apocalypse when all we have to eat are McD’s hashbrowns, twinkies, sodapop, and Spam.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Quit it, Sean! Now you just sound jealous of Jennifer’s temple just like me… obvs.

    • Sean

      I suppose I am a bit, but at the same time, gawd I loves me those hashbrowns, especially when they’re hot and have already begun to eat through their little paper sleeve thing.

    • Amanda Chatel

      YES!

      They don’t have them here at the Paris McDonald’s which, by the way, always have lines out the door especially on Sundays when everything else is closed. I need to try one of those McCamembert burgers… get my gasoline on stat.

  • Jessieface

    Do I always find myself in a place of stomach cramps and shame after I eat Mcdonalds? Yes, LAWD, yes.. Does is stop me from getting all up in a sausage mcmuffin and 2 hashbrowns at the airport, every got damn time I have an early morning flight?! Hell no. Bc those cramps let me know I am alive. I am alive and have just partaken in one of mankinds greatest culinary inventions.

    • Jessieface

      Furthermore, Jennifer, perhaps one of their salads or yogurt cups would have been more suited to your pristine clean room of a digestive system. Just sayin…

    • Amanda Chatel

      This.
      “Those cramps let me know I am alive. I am alive and have just partaken in one of mankinds greatest culinary inventions.”

      Preach it, girl.

    • Parienve8137

      мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт…­ ­ViewMore——————————————&#46qr&#46net/kkEj

      I have a crush on you ” Love happens in Happy JESUS, Happy FRIENDS,
      Fabulous Foods, with having a new wedding garment and grace ascending
      promotions. ” Amazing Love sings Beauty Darlene Zschech ” Fold me in
      your arms by Beauty Ann Marie Rachid ” A song from the Sabbath Psalm 92
      to the hymn ” Pray ” sings Beauty Darlene Zschech to the new songs that
      says JESUS King makes the marriage

  • Eileen

    Yeah, having a fast food meal always makes me feel a little icky afterwards (and I probably do it once a month or so), but that doesn’t make it less than obnoxious to talk about how clean and purified your body is. (Nor does it make it a good idea to eat an entire Big Mac when you’re a slender person, pure and clean-eating or not, who isn’t used to eating that much food in an entire sitting)

  • QueenCamRothschild

    JESUS 4th of July Celebration with preservative foods. No way says Palace of Beauty Queens that have to travel and maintain an 8 year record of no preservatives to keep the health and prosperity going without a flaw. Beauty Oprah sings ” O it is love, love, love, love, love, love ” grows healthier with Hawaii Organic Garden Foods or Sharif Hawaii Aqua Pond Garden Foods or Hawaii grass fed beef that move the O’Connor beef from 4,500 acres to over 800,000 acres of grass fed multiplying cattle without preservatives in cattle feed but fresh grass. JESUS witty invention is grass fed cattle to prevent disease in people or cattle. Queen Beauty Cameron Diaz Rothschild Extravagant Private Balfour Declaration finds health in Dr Reich and Dr Otto Warburgs foods to cure all diseases. Potato and milk and seafood fish, Orange and banana and seafood fish, Orange and raisins and seafood fish, etc. ( the basic combination of K plus Cs plus Ca plus magnesium all from the periodic chart of elements ). Beauty Jennifer Aniston sings ” I have a crush on you ” Love happens in Happy JESUS, Happy FRIENDS, Fabulous Foods, with having a new wedding garment and grace ascending promotions. ” Amazing Love sings Beauty Darlene Zschech ” Fold me in your arms by Beauty Ann Marie Rachid ” A song from the Sabbath Psalm 92 to the hymn ” Pray ” sings Beauty Darlene Zschech to the new songs that says JESUS King makes the marriage

  • QueenCamRothschild

    JESUS 4th of July Celebration with preservative foods. No way says Palace of Beauty Queens that have to travel and maintain an 8 year record of no preservatives to keep the health and prosperity going without a flaw. Beauty Oprah sings ” O it is love, love, love, love, love, love ” grows healthier with Hawaii Organic Garden Foods or Sharif Hawaii Aqua Pond Garden Foods or Hawaii grass fed beef that move the O’Connor beef from 4,500 acres to over 800,000 acres of grass fed multiplying cattle without preservatives in cattle feed but fresh grass. JESUS witty invention is grass fed cattle to prevent disease in people or cattle. Queen Beauty Cameron Diaz Rothschild Extravagant Private Balfour Declaration finds health in Dr Reich and Dr Otto Warburgs foods to cure all diseases. Potato and milk and seafood fish, Orange and banana and seafood fish, Orange and raisins and seafood fish, etc. ( the basic combination of K plus Cs plus Ca plus magnesium all from the periodic chart of elements ). Beauty Jennifer Aniston sings ” I have a crush on you ” Love happens in Happy JESUS, Happy FRIENDS, Fabulous Foods, with having a new wedding garment and grace ascending promotions. ” Amazing Love sings Beauty Darlene Zschech ” Fold me in your arms by Beauty Ann Marie Rachid ” A song from the Sabbath Psalm 92 to the hymn ” Pray ” sings Beauty Darlene Zschech to the new songs that says JESUS King makes the marriage

  • Maria

    This post makes me rather angry. It seems to almost have been written with a jealous tone and taking low blows whenever possible (what did any of this have to do with her engagement ). Yes she shouldn’t have chosen a stupid Big Mac , but she’s just relaying facts about clean eating. If you don’t eat a certain type of food for a long period of time (gasoline or whatever), then you body gets confused when you throw a foreign substance in and it has trouble digesting. purified system or not, you don’t eat something for a while and then eat it, it’s going to upset your stomach.

    A second point is your defense for McDonald’s. The garbage they produce in no way has any real nutritional value because it is so processed and unnatural. We need people like Jennifer to shed a dark light on places like these to influence those who aren’t educated to become educated and to influence those who are able to provide education to educate. If one really practices clean eating(defined loosely here ), you don’t need a trainer to lose weight – you simply need to eat naturally. People don’t realize the unnatural garbage that we put into our bodies is making us disgustingly unhealthy and (often) fat. For a moment stop focusing on the pounds and focus on health. Eat only natural things (ex. organic fruits and vegetables) get some exercise ( don’t be lazy and you don’t need a personal trainer) and your body and mood will become what we all admire( in stars.

    • http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever

      Jeeze Louise, lighten up!

    • Amanda Chatel

      I second this emotion, Lauren.

      And I’m pretty sure I just defended the damn hash browns… le sigh.

    • http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever

      McDonald’s hash browns are serious business!

    • Amanda Chatel

      Dude. I know. I know.

    • http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever

      what’s gross is that I just had JITB about 3 hours ago, and they sound good. The grease from my lunch is still practically lingering in my throat, hah.

    • Amanda Chatel

      What’s a JITB? Do tell!

    • http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever

      Oh, Jack in the Box.. They have a lot of them in Texas and California, I believe.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Oh, that’s why I was unclear! Its greasiness is something I will definitely try the next time I’m out that way.

    • Cee
    • Amanda Chatel

      HAHAHA!
      Oh, Cee… always the voice of wit and reason.

    • Amy123

      I couldn’t agree more, Maria! Some of us normal folk with full-time jobs and kids do manage to eat healthy and exercise w/o the help of chefs and trainers. All depends on your priorities.

  • Robyn

    Isn’t she a smoker? I remember reading that somewhere.