In today’s “wait, WTF?” news, Charles Saatchi is divorcing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson because she didn’t make sure the whole wide world knew that he totally, absolutely, positively is not abusive by making a public statement about how he put his hands around her throat at a restaurant.
Recently, Saatchi insisted that the photographs simply looked “horrific” (they do) but that in reality, it was all just part of a “playful tiff.” Keep in mind, when Lawson left the restaurant, she was in tears — an expression of decidedly non-playful emotion — and that she took her children and left their home after the story broke. Now, Saatchi is divorcing Lawson; sound playful still?
In a statement to the Daily Mail (because of course), Saatchi explains that he is ending their marriage because things haven’t been all that great since everyone found out he may be a terribly abusive husband:
“I feel that I have clearly been a disappointment to Nigella during the last year or so, and I am disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment to explain that I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way.”
Ah, so because she didn’t defend Saatchi’s “playful” behavior to other people by making a statement to the press, she’s a disappointment now?
“I am sorry that we had a row. I am sorry she was upset. I am even more sorry that this is the end of our marriage.”
I can’t decide if Saatchi’s PR people are complete idiots or if he’s just ignoring them, but isn’t it a little strange that he can’t decide whether this was a “playful tiff,” an “intense debate,” a “row” or just her being upset? Regardless, I personally am simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief and one of frustration — the first because I know at least Lawson will be away from this man, the latter because I know that very little has been done to penalize him for his actions.
As a (much, much more pleasant yet very irrelevant) side note: Isn’t Nigella Lawson’s complexion exceptional? She looks how I always imagined Snow White would IRL.
Photo: Getty Images