On the heels of two weeks ago’s Bullish Life: If You’re Pro-Choice, How Do You Make a Good Choice?, let’s see a reader question that is basically the exact opposite.
I’m 22, just graduated from college, and am starting my first job. Don’t laugh, but I feel like my biological clock is a ticking time bomb to my career. I want to have kids when I’m financially stable, which won’t happen after law school. I’m considering whether to get a masters before going to law school. But I also want to make sure that having kids doesn’t affect the peak of my career. It’s the first-generation college grad inside of me that is longing, thirsting, yearning for another degree (in addition to a J.D.), but in the context of time, delaying law school to go to get a Master’s degree that I may never use seems foolish. What do you think about “the right time” to have children?
So, according to a copy of US Weekly I read on the train, Kim Kardashian is in “baby heaven.” According to an evangelical blog I sometimes read for mild amusement, “babies are wealth.” On the other hand, my 35-year-old friend with a PhD has a Kickstarter to try to raise money for childcare so she can do her work.
Incidentally, when I say that I read evangelical blogs for mild amusement, I mean that I find comments like this bizarre and astounding:
My mother Lupita is a beautiful, intelligent, charming woman, who has had eleven boys and five girls…. There is plenty of constant hard work, but my mother has never considered herself a slave. Rather she is a living holocaust of love for her family.
The writer, um, meant that to be a positive. A living Holocaust. (Somewhat relatedly, the writer of Bad Hebrew Tattoos is creeped out by all the young people who want the word “slave” tattooed on their bodies in Hebrew.)
Later in the same article, “My mother has never sought compensations for her hard work, yet she has been rewarded by watching her children grow up and go their own ways.” Oooh, what a great reward. I mean, if the author’s mother is happy, that’s great. But it takes a really specific personality type. I just don’t think that a huge majority of women consider watching other people get rewards to be a very good reward.
You’re definitely set on having kids. I’m quoting this stuff because both the evangelicals and the most ambitious of liberal alpha moms agree that having kids is fucking huge and life-altering.