• Fri, Jul 12 2013

Amanda Seyfried Says Vagina Sparks Happen Immediately Or Not At All…Do You Agree?

The New York premiere of 'Epic' held at the Ziegfeld Theatre - Arrivals

In the newest issue of Elle, the ever-candid (but not in an annoying way) Amanda Seyfried poses for some pretty pictures and speaks at length about love, sex, and her new film Lovelace, which really does look amazing. I’m sure there will be much more to discuss when the full version comes out, but my favorite quote thus far is the one which addresses the feeling of having sparks in one’s vagina.

“Everybody I’ve dated I’ve been sexually attracted to immediately,” the plucky young sexual agent said. “Sparks don’t grow—your vagina doesn’t become more inclined to wanting someone just because you’re around them.”

I don’t know about you, but personally, I find this to be 100% true. I can tell within five seconds of meeting someone whether or not I might entertain the idea of getting to know them on a sexual level. Of course, there are all kinds of ways they can ruin it for themselves from there, but I’m sure as hell not going to randomly decide I find them fuckable one day when I hadn’t the day before. An informal panel of my friends agrees.

Of course, your attraction to someone can diversify and grow once you find out what an interesting and wonderful person they are; in the past three years, I’ve fallen in love with my partner in ways that run much deeper than “yeah, he can get it.” And my sexual attraction to him is informed by lots of stuff, like him caring about my feelings and a history of good sex-having. But without that initial vagina-spark, none of that would have ever been possible. Thank you, Amanda Seyfried, for giving us a nice visual metaphor for that.

The one time I tried to force it with someone I was not feeling vagina-sparks for, it ended in a world of nightmares. I’ve already written about the more important parts, but I forgot to mention that it resulted in sex that makes me feel more than a little bit gross to back on. Not because he was a deeply flawed and dishonest person with no desire to ever change—sex with those kinds of people can be the hottest!—but because I let someone slobber all over me who I was not nearly attracted to enough to overcome the conventional aversion to that activity. As Freud writes in his theory of anatomical transgression (which is itself part of a larger tract on perversion):

The limit of such loathing is frequently purely conventional; he who kisses fervently the lips of a pretty girl will perhaps be able to use her tooth brush only with a sense of loathing, though there is no reason to assume that his own oral cavity for which he entertains no loathing is cleaner than that of the girl.

Basically: sex acts are all pretty disgusting, but we get over that fact because they turn us on. (For our purposes, let’s ignore the fact that Freud considered anything but p-in-v sex to be a perversion.)

But maybe I’m a weird anomaly, and all those movies where the protagonist realizes that her perfect mate had been there all along, his fuckability going tragically unnoticed by her in her foolish “friendzoning” of him, are broadly applicable to real life. Tell me your stories! I enjoy learning about people who are different from me.

(Via The New York Daily News)

Photo: WENN

From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • at

    I’m the complete opposite. Every single person I’ve dated has been my friend and then we just fell into a relationship. I don’t even have a physical “type” because I never say “oh, that guy’s hot, imma try & date his ass”. From my experience, typical “hot” guys are jerks anyway because they think they don’t even have to try. Weird music nerds who live on their computers ftw <3

  • Eileen

    For me, I think the possibility has to be open. I don’t immediately have to think, “I want to have sex with him,” but it’s not going to work if my immediate impulse is, “I don’t want to touch him at all.” Although, honestly, with most men I meet, my first thought about sex is, “I probably would.”

    • paperraincoat

      I’m pretty much exactly the same way. Though with my current [and first 'real'] boyfriend, there were immediate furious vagina sparks. A veritable bonfire.

  • sab

    I feel the same way as Amanda. Problem is I feel the spark with freaks and mostly shy guys, which I hate! So I unplugged my vayjay

  • Choo

    I have definitely fallen for friends who I never thought of sexually for YEARS. Also, my husband gave me no vagina sparks when we first met. Those came later, when I was like “DAMN, he’s good at this!”

  • Aquagirl

    I do.