• Tue, Jul 16 2013

A Woman Is Bringing Cake Into Bars To Find A Boyfriend

cakes
I never expected that a story about cake could make me feel sorry for people. But this one does!

A woman, seemingly a nice woman, with great baking skills, has begun baking cakes and bringing them into bars in an attempt to pick up a boyfriend. The Huffington post writer says:

None of the boys I’ve dated have ever turned into recognized boyfriends, and I’m getting tired of carrying heavy things by myself. So instead of joining an online dating site or moving home to become a spinster, I’ve been baking cakes and taking them to bars around LA for the last six months as a way to find a boyfriend. This was all an accidental discovery after bringing a birthday cake to the Edendale bar last year got me rom-com magical results. Boys seemed to appear out of nowhere, drawn to the cake, and by default, drawn to me, now oddly safe to approach and somehow much more desirable. “You MADE this cake?! Are you an angel?” My best friend Chrissy joked as we were leaving that I should just bake cakes and hang out in bars to meet boys.

This has materialized into a very real dating strategy for 2013, which I’ve taken to calling “cakebarring” and have been documenting on a blog. I thought I’d be more likely to find a boyfriend volunteering at a retirement home or getting into a low impact fender bender, but the experiment actually seems to be working. At this point, I’ve baked 18 cakes and gone to 18 bars, all with varying degrees of success. I’ve gotten three phone numbers, a business card, a new girl friend, an almost boyfriend, and consumed enough cake to bring on what I’m sure will be a frightening yearly check-up at the dentist.

You know, one response to this is to say that if men want food so badly, maybe they should just learn how to cook. But I wouldn’t even go that far. If men want food that badly, they should be able to locate one single bakery. One. Just one.

In spite of that, the saddest part of this seems to be that this woman has baked 18 cakes and not gotten a boyfriend. I’m not sad she’s single. It’s fine to be single. I’m sad because I feel like 18 cakes should be enough to win you any goal. For instance, if her goal was “peace in the middle east” I feel that 18 really good cakes should be enough to accomplish that.

Also, now I’m hungry.

Picture via Getty

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  • Sean

    I’m curious now how many of the men who (probably) excitedly grabbed a piece of cake bothered to learn her name.

  • ZanBrody

    In preschool, for my birthday I wore a fancy new dress and borrowed my sister’s awesome remote controlled robot to garner more attention for myself. A bunch of boys, including my crush, swarmed around me…and nearly knocked me over to get to the robot.

    SAME THING.

    • Sean

      Umm, is it cool to ask what kind of robot it was?

    • ZanBrody

      Hahaha. It was the “Mobile Armatron”. Now that I look at it I see really only the arm was robotic. I was push aside for a partial robot!! Dammit.

    • Sean

      OH MY GOD IT WAS FROM RADIOSHACK AND I STILL HAVE MINE. NERDSQUEEEEEE!

      It was basically a game where you had to move little items from one place to another using only the arm, and within a given time or the arm shut down.
      It now stands as my favourite nerd version of beer pong.

    • ZanBrody

      Yeah I don’t even remember it being a game, just picking up everything we could with it. It’s sort of timeless isn’t it?

    • Sean

      It totally is, if you ignore your idiot friends asking to use it to jerk off.

  • Soleil29

    I don’t ‘get’ this article. I don;t see what all the judgement is about. I think its funny and kind of cute. I’m not sure exactly what she’s doing with the cake..is she just sitting there with it, offering pieces, pretending its a friends birthday..? Anyway, guess I will have to check out her blog. Jennifer, still confused as to why you are so put off by this. Not a big deal at all. May not work but her, she;s putting herself out there and not lost in self loathing.

    • ZanBrody

      I don’t really care what the lady does and I’m not judging her. Ok–maybe a little side-eye for saying one of her options was “moving home to be a spinster”. I think it is more that I don’t see how this would lead to a better dating situation?

      Maybe this is a bad personal trait that I could totally eat cake and not even register the existence of the person offering it.

      That said–my parents had a friend who took out a full page newspaper advertisement looking for a new wife back in the 90s, after he was widowed. He ended up getting media coverage for it and women of all ages across the country wrote him. He ended up marrying a lovely woman who responded to the ad, whom he is still married to. So, I guess off-the-wall tactics can work.

    • Kristine

      “Maybe this is a bad personal trait that I could totally eat cake and not even register the existence of the person offering it”
      You and me both sister.

  • Ana

    This made me sad.

    “but the experiment actually seems to be working” — oh no sweetie, its not working. 18 cakes & bars with no boyfriend is not success.

    Its a cute idea, but perhaps bringing cakes where it is less weird to bring cakes would work better. I’m not sure where these places are (book clubs? AA meetings? I wish I had suggestions). How close are these bars to each other? If this is all in one area, she may be earning herself a strange reputation.

    However, if she feels good about herself, more power to her.

  • Cee

    Gosh, this is sad. I wanted it to be cute or quirky but when I came to the 18 cakes line I was like no. Though now I kinda want to look for her to have some cake. Would she give me cake or is it just single men that can have cake?

  • Kim

    only 3 numbers after 18 cakes? that is kind of sad. that is a terrible return on your investment.

    in fact, this is just as sad as guys that buy bottles of booze at bars to share with ladies in hopes of getting numbers or ass.

    …although if she showed up with strawberry shortcake and ice cream I would be her friend and I would totally wingwoman her and set her up with an awesome guy.

    • http://morningtableaux.blogspot.com/ Benquo

      You need a baseline for comparison. How many phone numbers did she get the previous 18 times she hung out at bars?

      For that matter, how often did she go and hang out for bars to meet guys before the cake scheme? Maybe the cake scheme is what gives her the confidence to go out there and meet people. (Just like some people find it easier to approach people with silly pickup lines – and even if the tricks don’t work any better than normal conversation starters, if it means they get out there and start meeting people, then in that sense it “works.”)

      The most important thing is that when what she was doing wasn’t working, she TRIED SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Step 2 is to notice when it’s time to come up with yet another idea if your first one hasn’t worked out yet.

    • Kim

      the baseline we’re given is that the cake baker has been unable to transition dates/hookups into relationships, which is her endgame, not just getting numbers. she was batting 0 for 100 before the cakes, and after 18 cakes she is still batting 0 for 100.

      getting numbers is a terrible measurement of success anyways, just because it’s pretty rare that getting or giving your number to a rando actually develops into a relationship, ESPECIALLY at bars.

      I agree that it’s good that she’s getting out there, but the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results. she needs to fine-tune her game and expand her net, perhaps by bringing her cakes to places other than bars. I would also argue that since in this excerpt the baker states that she has been on dates, she is in fact a sociable person who doesn’t need a cake crutch to go out to bars, but that’s extrapolating a bit.

      I don’t understand why the cake baker is copping such an attitude about online dating. Of my close circle of friends, one has been dating someone she met off of plenty of fish for ~2 years and another is married with a newborn to someone she met off of Ok Cupid.

  • Lilith

    Now I had to check the original article :p (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/audrey-shulman/sitting-in-bars-with-cake_b_3581293.html)

    It doesn’t sound that sad. It doesn’t even sound she is actually looking for a guy that way. It looks more like a one year project. She says “I have six more months to go.” She uses that experience as material for her blog – possibly trying to be a writer and hoping to stay in L.A. (just speculating because of that fear of hers of returning home) I don’t know, it doesn’t sound so different from writing for Gloss :)

    Her friends obviously go with her and particitipate in the game – that is the part from original article that definitely made the whole thing sound different. Instead of some desperate weird woman with a cake (who is only 26 btw) in dark corners of bars, you instanlty imagine just a group of people having fun.

    I don’t think men are sad either. Well, she isn’t exclusive either – she offers her cakes to everyone. :) People feel alienated and lonely today. And in the same time shy and scared of others or more likely themselves. If a piece of cake helps them all have a conversation with another human being, then long live the cakes. :)