• Fri, Jul 19 - 3:10 pm ET

Newlyweds Arrested For Consummating Their Vows In A Playground

Protestors Occupy Battersea Park Adventure Playground

A lot of couples are eager to consummate their vows after getting married. I mean a lot of them are also probably too full of cake and champagne to do anything, but in general, yeah, having sex after getting married seems pretty fun. However, this one couple was so eager to do it that they had sex in playground in front of a whole bunch of people.

The Frisky claims that:

When Miaya Smith and Saint Ramirez Jr. got married in a small ceremony at a Nebraska park, they were excited about it. Like, really excited. Like, really excited in their pants. So they did what any blissful, horny newlywed couple would have done: they ducked behind a tree in full view of their wedding guests, a public pool, and a playground, and started humping. When three teenagers alerted a police officer to the public sexytimes (sidenote: most virtuous teenagers ever), the officer pulled his patrol car up right next to the copulating couple, but even the presence of the po-po couldn’t dampen their amour.

How did they not end up in a car? Honestly, let’s think about anyplace that would have been better to have sex in than a playground in front of people. A car. A hotel. A playground not in front of people. A public park. Honestly, anyplace but a playground in the middle of the day.

Still, those teenagers who tipped off the police? Those teenagers are jerks.

In other news, I think the word “po-po” is fantastic, and really should be used more often.

Picture via Getty

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  • Eileen

    Eh, if you’re having sex in full view of a playground in the middle of the day, I can’t blame the teenagers. Three-year-olds playing in the sandbox and six-year-olds trying to learn the monkey bars shouldn’t have to see adults having sex. And I say this as a person who has had sex in a park.

  • MR

    You see you do it at night and nobody sees you. It’s different. :)