As you and anyone with a television, computer, phone or transistorÂ radio knows,Â Kate Middleton went into labor atÂ St. Maryâ€™s Hospital in central LondonÂ early this morning. Just minutes ago, the royal baby’s sex and weight were revealed: it is a boy weighing in at eight pounds and six ounces!
The unnamed Prince of Cambridge will have his birth announced on aÂ wood and gold easel on the gates of Buckingham Palace, as is tradition. The declaration will announce his weight and sex, and will be signed by the doctors who delivered him. The child should eventually become king of England after succeeding the line of men who will take the throne afterÂ Queen Elizabeth.
Does anybody else find it
kind ofÂ supremely amusing to imagine a situation wherein the royal baby isÂ totally aware of all the fuss but is hella confused and also voiced byÂ Bruce Willis? No? Okay. Just me, then.
Well, that’s your royal baby news for the day! Tune in tomorrow for when paparazzi and tourists slowly tear apart the hospital walls searching for the perfect angle so they can be first to Vine the kid. Bruce Willis’ voice will not be impressed.
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