As you and anyone with a television, computer, phone or transistor radio knows, Kate Middleton went into labor at St. Mary’s Hospital in central London early this morning. Just minutes ago, the royal baby’s sex and weight were revealed: it is a boy weighing in at eight pounds and six ounces!
The unnamed Prince of Cambridge will have his birth announced on a wood and gold easel on the gates of Buckingham Palace, as is tradition. The declaration will announce his weight and sex, and will be signed by the doctors who delivered him. The child should eventually become king of England after succeeding the line of men who will take the throne after Queen Elizabeth.
Does anybody else find it
kind of supremely amusing to imagine a situation wherein the royal baby is totally aware of all the fuss but is hella confused and also voiced by Bruce Willis? No? Okay. Just me, then.
Well, that’s your royal baby news for the day! Tune in tomorrow for when paparazzi and tourists slowly tear apart the hospital walls searching for the perfect angle so they can be first to Vine the kid. Bruce Willis’ voice will not be impressed.
Photo: Getty Images