Hair Shaming Is The Worst


All I ever want is for my hair to be cut at one blunt length. I pin it up a lot, and that’s easier to do if it’s all one length, and I also curl it a lot, which, again, works better if it’s one length. Also, I shouldn’t really have to justify this, because it is my own damn hair.

But you would not believe the amount of time I spend politely convincing hairdressers that, yes, really, I do not want lots of layers and having them either convince me otherwise or just give me layers. And I am delighted to learn that I am not the only one who is having this problem! Over at XOJane, Emily claims that she went into a New York salon and experienced this:

“Did you cut your OWN hair?” sneered the condescending jerk delivering my trim, and looked dubious when I told him that in fact, a professional had given me the shorter-in-back-longer-in-front-with-razored-ends look I was currently growing out.

“Girl, this haircut is cuckoo crazy,” he told me, before spending the next half-hour huffing and sighing and shaking his head sadly about how he was possibly going to “correct” this mess on my head. I left feeling small and impotently angry.

Look, I’ve never understood why manicurists tell you that your nails are awful. You’re probably already aware of the condition of your own nails (I bite mine, so I’m told this all the time). But I feel lik it’s only recently that hairstylists have also begun doing this. Aren’t they supposed to be… polite? And defer to you, as you are the customer? Has this even happened to you? How do you handle it?

Personally, I now go to Supercuts to get my plain, blunt haircut. They never question it, and I save a ton of money by doing so, but that’s just me.

Picture via Getty.

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    • Fabel

      YES. I have this problem too, & it’s partially why I’m afraid to go get a trim. I was successful last time in convincing the hairdresser to cut all one length (except for slight angle, because I did not want my hair to be up to my shoulders), but I may not be so lucky next time?

      Also, my pedicurist asked me if I “did winter sports” one time, after buffing (buffing?) my heels (….I do not….)

    • Brittany Anne

      Yes! I’ve had a pixie cut off and on for a while now, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to get it cut, the hairdresser is like, “Are you sure? Are you really, really sure? I mean, ARE YOU REALLY SURE?”

      Short answer: YES. I AM SURE.

      I’ve actually started going to Supercuts too, because they don’t give me the third degree before cutting it, and they do a better job anyway.

    • Alle

      For me, a lot of hair shaming involves just regular shaming. If I don’t do anything to my hair and let it’s natural wavy/insane/gigantic texture come out to play, strangers on the street even get weird about it. And sometimes a little racist! It is BONKERS.

      I don’t understand how anyone’s hair is anyone else’s business. Don’t be jerks, rest of the world! Worry about yourselves!

    • Jessieface

      ugh. And then there is product shaming. I have dry frizzy hair, i try and tame it and am moderately successful. I tested out a new salon about a year ago after my go-to-gal moved, and the stylist dude they set me up with ran his fingers through my hair with visible judgement and disdain, and said, “So you clearly don’t spend any money on hair products, so what do you, shop at…”. I was mortified. Listen asshole, where I chose to shop after I turn down your $45 bottle of shampoo pitch is my beeswax, and my beeswax alone. Put your gavel down.

    • anna

      I had my vintage store featured in a magazine and they decided to do a small piece on me. I showed up and they had their own make up lady! I felt so fancy!
      Then she started in on the foundation, asking “so, what is up with your skin?”
      Lady, if I knew it wouldn’t be happening. Don’t zit shame!

      • Ninargh

        RAR. As a make-up artist/hair stylist myself this is a huge peeve of mine. I’m handling someone’s skin and hair, I’m in close contact and likely they don’t know me very well – the power balance is in my favour and so even offhand comments have the potential to cut deeper than usual. Watching my tongue is of course necessary, but it’s not like it’s bloody tricky, is it?

        Then there are MUAs that are just plain rude. That’s just wholly unnecessary.

      • anna

        Thank you! It’s not like my sensitive skin is a point of pride. If I have any sort of photography happening I normally just sit there dying of shame while they cake concealer on my stress zit.
        I know I have a zit, you know I do, must we really talk about it?

    • Pixie

      Same problem here. My hair is one length, slightly shorter at the front. It’s basically a long pageboy. It’s easier to do vintage style hair that way. No, I don’t want layers, no don’t even suggest putting streaks in my hair, yes I’m 24 and have a lot of grey hair. I go to a super cheap chain hair place too now.

    • kj

      Meh. I always get the, “Whoa! When was the last time you cut your hair?! A year ago?!

      Whatevs dude… Thanks for the haircut. See you in a year.

    • Debbie

      Tell me about it! i wear my hair up a lot but still want trims so that it isn’t a gross, tangled, splitty mess. One hairdresser once said, after I said I want blunt bob and bangs, ‘oh so a bit Lego?’