• Thu, Jul 25 - 4:30 pm ET

Courtney Stodden & Doug Hutchison Releasing Educational Sex Tape Next Week

Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden sex tape

You know those obnoxious acquaintances who give you sex advice even when you desperately don’t want to know that they are partaking in sex? Yes yes, Geoff, I get it; you always use hot sauce as lube, but for the last time, I don’t care how great it makes your balls feel, STFU. Well, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison* are the celebrity versions of those people, and they are sharing their sex life publicly to extend their already-over 15 minutes help the world collectively orgasm.

For some incomprehensible reason, Stodden and Hutchison have decided to make a sex tape. But not just any sex tape! No, they want to double the fun of Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson‘s, triple the unbelievability of Farrah Abraham‘s and quadruple the horror of Scott Stapp and Kid Rock‘s. How? Well, besides merely existing as they do — you know, as a couple who began when the female was legally a child — they’ll be making it a “tell-all” for couples whose sex lives lack the repugnant quality that Stodden and Hutchison have so masterfully captured for years.

By teaming up with sex specialists Dr. Ava Cadell and Malcolm Day and not a single creative person, the couple are contributing to a video with the inspired title of “Passion and Pleasure.” According to Mirror, the filmed fornication and discussion are “part of an eight week love and sex therapy course that [they are] currently taking with a company that advises couples on all things love, relationships and sex.” Apparently, the “all things” portion does not include “never marrying underage children,” so the rest of the course is presumably awful and incomplete, as well.

The video is reportedly dropping next week, so if you are one of the zero percent of human beings who wants to see it, then…get ready, I guess.

Photo: Josiah True / WENN.com

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  • Fabel

    Oh wow, where are the body language analysts for that picture? She is literally trying to push him off… :-

  • Julia Sonenshein

    Oh my god.

    • mejumaxuturi

      мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт…­ ­ViewMore——————————————&#46qr&#46net/kkEj

      despite the fact that they are strange, fame-whoring people, i cannot help but be entertained by their antics.

  • Tania

    Her face is a different colour than the rest of her.

    Also no no no no no.

  • cassie

    no one wants to see doug hutchinson naked. no one.

    despite the fact that they are strange, fame-whoring people, i cannot help but be entertained by their antics.

  • Colleen S

    It’s Hutchison Dammit

  • Alexis H

    The main thing that’s freaking me out here is that now I have to deal with the fact that they really do have sex. All this time, I’ve been holding out hope that this was a deluded publicity stunt/performance art piece.