Wed Bed Dead Don’t Throw Up On Patrick Swayze’s Beautiful Head!

Hello there, Gloss fans! Welcome to this week’s episode of our web series Wed Bed Dead, in which editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff must decide the potentially very sexy fate of three chosen gentlemen (and occasionally ladies) (and, uh, animals). The show is a live action spin-off of their longrunning and delightful games of Fuck Marry Kill here on The Gloss.

This week on Wed Bed Dead, we’re celebrating summer–perfect for sweltering romances, climactic dance sequences, and… very unsettling casual reference to sexual assault? Our trio today is lovestruck greaser Danny Zuko (played by John Travolta) from Grease, working class dance instructor Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) from Dirty Dancing and recalcitrant camp counselor Andy (Paul Rudd) from Wet Hot American Summer. It’s a tough choice–we don’t want to change our entire personalities for a high schooler, we’re both perfectly content being put in the corner and… no one wants to be told they taste like a burger.

Tune in every Wednesday at 1:00 for new episodes of Wed Bed Dead. And don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Seriously. Don’t forget.

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    • Sean

      Ok, beyond the inescapable fact that Danny Zucco is a high school kid, isn’t Johnny Castle’s masterful ability to move his hips enough to merit a one-night stand?

      • Brianna

        That’s what I’m saying! I’m pretty sure I’d kill Danny Zucco.

    • Alle

      Lifts are the worst. I got dropped in ballet class like three weeks into pas de deux, jacked up my knee, and it STILL HURTS fifteen years later.

      Basically that lift ruined Dirty Dancing for me. Kill everyone associated with that movie except Emily Gilmore. I don’t even care.

      • Sean

        Holey crap I forgot Kelly Bishop was the mom in that too!

      • Alle

        Never forget!

      • Sean

        I also forgot Edward Hermann was a defense attorney on Law & Order, and every time I see him I think “wow, Richard is being such a dick”.

    • emily

      so wait, is jennifer still going to continue on Wed Bed Dead? I really hope so!