Look out, all you freeloading Obama liberals! There are some in-your-face chicks coming to take back the word “feminism” from those who have hijacked its true purpose, and they are here to explain what feminism really means.
According to Chicks On The Right, a sassy new column that debuted in The Indy Star today, we are gravely mistaken if we think feminism is about working together to achieve legal, cultural, and practical equality for those who’ve been historically oppressed. Actually, it is about each oppressed individual bootstrapping their way to equality via the wage system, without any help from others, because America. If you are in any way shape or form dissatisfied with this totally fair-to-you and practical “bootstraps” technique, you are a bad, bad feminist. But just in case you are still unclear on any of this, here are some things feminism is and is not, according to Chicks On The Right.
-Growing up a latchkey kid whose parents had little leisure time or money for childcare, and LOVING IT. In fact, we wish we’d seen our parents even less. We don’t deserve parents, and neither does anyone. WE ARE THE 43%!
-Being able to survive without your husbands’ support when they leave you for younger women. And without any government benefits, either, because it is the height of misogyny to admit that anyone might ever need a helping hand from a tax pool they, themselves have paid many dollars into over the years. What are you, a commie?
-Wearing stilettos to work.
-Defining yourself “by our character, our passions, our loves, our strengths, our abilities and our successes” and NOT by your “ladyparts.” Because the best way to not be defined by your ladyparts is to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term.
-Staring unexpected challenges in the face and saying “I’ve got this.” (As you get up on your kitchen table for a DIY pap smear because the nearest affordable women’s health clinic is five hours away.)
-Wanting “the government” to pay for your birth control. (Or the insurance you already pay for. Whatever!)
-”needing a Sugar Daddy (whether he is in the form of a mate or a taxpayer).” Because it’s not like you’re a taxpayer, or anything.
-By extension: being a sex worker of any kind, I guess? You must survive in the patriarchy by your own hard work, but only the kind of work Chicks on the Right approve of.
-Wanting “taxpayers” to pay for your “reproductive choices.” Again, it’s not like you pay taxes or anything. And if you can’t afford to make a choice because it’s privatized and expensive and the economy sucks, that’s your fault as well. Want an abortion? Manifest a job into being!
Is not not:
-Letting your rich husband support you while you stay home and raise the kids, because that’s a “personal choice” you make for love, and is not like work at all.
(Via The Indy Star)
Photo: The Indy Star