• Tue, Aug 13 - 3:30 pm ET

Does Rihanna Approve Of Katy Perry’s Boyfriend, John Mayer? Do Your Friends Get A Say In Your Relationships?

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People has some photos of Rihanna and Katy Perry eating dinner together last night, and teases us with the headline “Did John Mayer Get Rihanna’s Seal of Approval?” People doesn’t give us any information that we couldn’t have gleaned from Rihanna or Perry’s Instagram accounts, and we’re left waiting with baited breath to see if Rihanna, did, in fact, give her official approval of Perry’s boyfriend. I don’t know how I’ll sleep tonight without confirmation.

All of this inner turmoil I’m experiencing leads me to question the age-old adage “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” How important is it to you that that your friends approve of the person you’re getting intimate with? I’d like to believe that all intimate interactions only exist between the people having them, but I know enough about my friends’ sex lives (and they know enough about mine) to know better. We all have opinions, and I’m comforted by the idea that my friends love my boyfriend and like us together.

But what happens on the other side of things? As I’ve probably made clear in every post I’ve ever written, I don’t tend to like a lot of people. This isn’t an attractive quality, and I’m trying to be more positive about people—luckily, my friends typically have excellent taste in sex partners. Occasionally, I just can’t stand the idea that my friend who we’ll call Jane is letting some massive douche put his douchey dick inside her.

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We’re at the age where some of my friends are starting to get really serious about their dick douches, and it worries me that they’ll eventually be unhappy in these relationships. At the same time, my friends are grown ups and are more than capable of deciding their futures. Unless they’re entering into abusive relationships, I’ll just have to suck it up at social events and understand that I don’t get to have an opinion. My approval ultimately shouldn’t matter, or I should “approve” on the basis that my friends are happy, regardless of whether or not I personally like their partners.

How do you handle it when you can’t stand a friend’s romantic choice?

Photo: Instagram//MTV

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  • NonnyMouse

    I’m still trying to figure it out. I have a close friend who is with a person who regularly embarrasses them and is flat-out rude to many people, myself included. My friend knows that this person isn’t nice at all, but says “They’re only like that when other people are around.” So, I’m curious to hear what others have to say. I deal with it by not spending a lot of time with my friend, unless I run into them when out somewhere. We communicate via email and text.

    And it sucks.

  • anna

    I’m divided. I was in a relationship for a long time that after a few years turned toxic, abusive, and we both encouraged each other to get into drugs. That said, the ONLY people who I would trust to talk to me about this would be:
    my mother, who I would probably just get mad at because A. I am a daughter (but would know was right) and B. I was on drugs
    and my best friend, who has known me for 12 years, and knew both me and my SO before being together, while being together, and after it went south.
    SO, if you are not intimately involved with someone’s life, it’s not your place.

  • Alexis A

    My main concern is always whether my friend is happy. If they’re not, then I will be honest about saying that I don’t think their partner is right for them. But only if they’ve come to me with issues, are asking for advice, or there are signs of abuse/potential abuse (whether physical or emotional).
    I’ll always be polite to the partner, and respect my friend’s wishes. Though if it is clear that the partner is abusive, I would refuse to hang out with their partner. If the guy/gal is just a douche or annoying, and my friend is happy, I might keep my mouth shut.

    • ZanBrody

      I have a close friend who is married to the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my entire life. I was actually shocked when I met him, she is easy to get along with and he is unbelievably grating in every way. He’s loud and obnoxious and makes terrible jokes and asks rude, invasive questions. But, she loves him and he treats her well. In fact, they have been married for 5 years and they are one of the happiest couples I know.

      So…definitely keep my mouth shut. But I avoid couple hangouts LIKE THE PLAGUE.

  • RA

    you’re kidding, right, sonenshein? katy should care whether rihanna, former punchbag of chris brown, approves of her latest bf choice? between the two of them, there are no neurons firing when it comes to their taste in men.

    • alisha652

      what Edith responded I didn’t even know that some one able to earn $9213 in one month on the computer. did you see this webpage w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

  • Tusconian

    1- If I was Rihanna, I wouldn’t approve of my friend dating John Mayer because he’s worse than just “kind of douchey.” I don’t know Katy Perry and I don’t approve.

    2- From what I know about Rihanna, though, I bet she either a) doesn’t give a fuck, or b) isn’t interested in telling Katy Perry that John Mayer is terrible and she doesn’t date him. She just doesn’t seem like the type to get all involved like that, if she has any strong feelings at all about the situation

    3- In general, what your friends think should be listened to, but not be the deciding factor, or at least considered veeeeeery carefully. Your friends could hate a guy because he’s taking up more of your time and they’re jealous. I’ve had friends judge my boyfriends or guys I liked because he was not in our social circle so therefore he must e a huge douche. I’ve had friends and boyfriends simply not click as human beings. Some people will make snap judgements based on dumb shit like how tall a person is, what their drink of choice is, how skinny or fat they are, or that they wear clothes by lame designers. It’s totally possible that a friend who’d never said intolerant things before could be racist, xenophobic, or religiously intolerant. Your friends may have important things to say, but people should make damn sure that “douchebag” doesn’t mean “he owns a single Ed Hardy shirt” or “he is content to drink Bud Light” as opposed to “he says things like “my dick is racist”" or “he seems to abuse you.”