People has some photos of Rihanna and Katy Perry eating dinner together last night, and teases us with the headline “Did John Mayer Get Rihanna’s Seal of Approval?” People doesn’t give us any information that we couldn’t have gleaned from Rihanna or Perry’s Instagram accounts, and we’re left waiting with baited breath to see if Rihanna, did, in fact, give her official approval of Perry’s boyfriend. I don’t know how I’ll sleep tonight without confirmation.
All of this inner turmoil I’m experiencing leads me to question the age-old adage “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” How important is it to you that that your friends approve of the person you’re getting intimate with? I’d like to believe that all intimate interactions only exist between the people having them, but I know enough about my friends’ sex lives (and they know enough about mine) to know better. We all have opinions, and I’m comforted by the idea that my friends love my boyfriend and like us together.
But what happens on the other side of things? As I’ve probably made clear in every post I’ve ever written, I don’t tend to like a lot of people. This isn’t an attractive quality, and I’m trying to be more positive about people—luckily, my friends typically have excellent taste in sex partners. Occasionally, I just can’t stand the idea that my friend who we’ll call Jane is letting some massive douche put his douchey dick inside her.
We’re at the age where some of my friends are starting to get really serious about their dick douches, and it worries me that they’ll eventually be unhappy in these relationships. At the same time, my friends are grown ups and are more than capable of deciding their futures. Unless they’re entering into abusive relationships, I’ll just have to suck it up at social events and understand that I don’t get to have an opinion. My approval ultimately shouldn’t matter, or I should “approve” on the basis that my friends are happy, regardless of whether or not I personally like their partners.
How do you handle it when you can’t stand a friend’s romantic choice?