I have fallen in love more than once in my life. More than twice, actually, and when I explain that to people, they often patronizingly tell me that if I had ever “really” fallen in love, I would either still be with the person or I would still be alone because, after love happens, those are somehow the only two options. They aren’t.
In a new survey of 2,000 people from the Siemens Festival Nights, the average response for the number of times people had fallen in love was two. In fact, one in seven of those respondents stated they did not believe the person they’re with is the “love of their life”; of those participants, 73 percent said they had “made do” with their present partner due to losing the actual love of their lives. In other news, I am now officially terrified of people feeling as though they settled by being paired up with myself.
Honestly, I do not believe there is any specific limit of times that people can fall in love. I think that it’s a little depressing to imagine there has to “be someone for everyone”; some people are polyamorous, some want to be single forever, some just don’t work out with the first or second love of their life. People wind up without the people they love for all manner of reasons, from an absolute inability to live in the same location to health problems to money struggles to familial issues to just plain ol’ “good god, why can’t you just seal the cereal properly one time?” fights.
Being in love more than once doesn’t negate the intensity and the authenticity of each preceding experience, nor does it cancel out the beauty of future intimacy with others. If this were not true, I think those who have dealt with divorce, marital chaos and even being widowed would likely not stand a chance. Lucky for us, science is on our sides with this one.
Photo: Fiorelisa / Flickr