Everybody calm down. Kate Middleton is still skinny and desirable, even though she had a baby sometime recently, or something. HOW DOES SHE DO THAT? WOW SHE HAS BOUNCED BACK. SKINNY ONCE AGAIN!
The Huffington Post is reporting that Middleton dragged her recently horrifying post-pregnancy body to the Ring O’Fire Ultra Marathon in North Wales to greet runners before they set off on the 131-mile race, or what I call a poor life decision.
As for her clothes, her style hasn’t veered into the dreaded “mom” zone one bit: She chose an olive green Ralph Lauren blazer (OK, slightly mom-ish), skinny black cropped jeans by Paige Denim (definitely notmom-ish), her LK Bennett wedges and her trusty Zara top, which she was last seen wearing on a ski trip to the Alps.
Also, all moms have horrible style and should be put out to pasture because they are no longer desirable women.
The article uses the word “skinny” three different times to describe her pants. Look, aren’t slim pants kind of the default now? Tell me if I’m reaching here (if I can count on anything, it’s that you’ll tell me when I’m overreacting), but doesn’t the original article kind of read as a thinly veiled confirmation that she’s lost the baby weight and that’s all we should care about? The headline reads: “Kate Middleton Makes First Post-Baby Appearance In Skinny Pants, Wedges,” when the pants she has on are fairly unremarkable. To me, this seems like a quieter, more subtle voice in the growing roar of DID THE BABY RUIN HER BODY? stories that we see around any high profile pregnancy. I’m tired of the celebration that ensues whenever women get their bodies “back,” as if the normal changes a woman’s body undergoes as she ages constitutes “losing” something. It’s like HuffPo couldn’t resist throwing in “skinny” as often as possible, so we can all breathe a sigh of relief that she’s back to normal and the pregnancy never happened.
Am I way off-base? Is a skinny pant just a skinny pant?