• Tue, Sep 3 2013

Kim Kardashian’s Victory Plan Over Baby-Torn Body May Include Getting Naked For Playboy

kim-kardashian-playboy

There are many things I have yet to do in my life because I am a failure and have not accomplished anything. Two of those things are as follows:

1. Have a baby

2. Get my body back and pose in Playboy.

Well, luckily I have a lady hero to lead the way and set an example: Kim Kardashian has expressed a desire to pose for Playboy or do a similar nude shoot in the near future. In a new promo for Peabody award-winning PBS documentary and cinéma vérité-trailblazer ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians,’ Kardashian exclaims ”As soon as I pop this thing out, I want to do Playboy or some nude shoot.”

Now that the blessed popping out has come and gone, I wonder when the nude shoot will happen. As HuffPo points out, Kardashian has had some very mixed feelings on her previous Playboy photo shoot. In past interviews, she’s both said she regretted posing in Playboy and called it “and independence thing…[and] one decision that only [she] could make.”

I’m all for women doing whatever kind of photo shoot they damn well please, but if this is meant to be some sort of “look at me, my child didn’t steal my hot bod from me and YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL I’VE HAD A KID?” situation, then fuck that. This seems like a ploy to prove that Kim’s still got it post-pregnancy, and reveals some deep-seated insecurity that she has the misfortune of broadcasting to the whole world (although, misfortune might be a stretch since she signed up for this):

Kardashian’s insecurity about losing her sex appeal and cool factor during her pregnancy is something that has been explored this season on the show. In earlier episodes, Kardashian was seemingly obsessed with her teenage sister Kylie Jenner’s opinion on everything, and was on a quest to appear on her Tumblr as a sign that she was still cool.

Kardashian is a victim of the problem and is the problem itself—she’s obsessed with retaining her looks and sex appeal because she’s been told that that’s all she’s good for, and then we put her on TV to further prove that point and perpetuate to other women that keeping your sex appeal and beauty are all that matter. At what point are we going to figure out that being a mother and being sexually desirable aren’t mutually exclusive, and stop forcing women fight against their own bodys’ natural changes?

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  • Cee

    I get a feeling we reached peak Kardashian *crosses fingers*Nobody really cared about her baby’s pic or her having a baby, plus her mum’s show got cancelled, if she does Playboy now it will probably not be as crazy as before. NOT because she had a baby but because people are over saturated with her and her family.

    Now if only I could get my coworkers to stop talking about the show and using their sayings during regular discussions. Bible!

  • P Terrance Nels

    I’d rub one out and give her a victory ‘splooge’…..