• Mon, Sep 9 2013

Miley Cyrus Gets Naked And Cries In Her New Video

miley cyrus naked

Our girl Miley Cyrus is back to her old tricks getting naked in awkward environments because she can’t be tamed. In her new Terry Richardson-directed video for “Wrecking Ball,” Miley gallivants around an oddly appointed, all white room with it’s own large cinder block cube for Miley to destroy. CUZ YOU’RE A WRECKING BALL. Or something.

Here is a list of things that Miley does in the video for “Wrecking Ball.”

1. Cry.

miley wrecking ball

2. Hold a sledge hammer.

miley cyrus wrecking ball

3. Caress the sledge hammer.

miley wrecking ball2

4. Lick the sledge hammer. Has that shit been properly sanitized? This seems like a sexy recipe for tetanus.

miley cyrus wrecking ball 5

5. Get intimate with a wrecking ball (guys, that’s name of the song!)

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6. Get naked, sits on wrecking ball while nude.

miley wrecking ball4

7. Walk away from the wreckage in slow motion.

miley wrecking ball 3

8. Lie in the wreckage of the structure she just destroyed (is this symbolic of a relationship? I don’t know. Do I look like I understand poetry?).

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As Miley writhes around (healthily exploring her sexuality and body, which I will always defend even when it’s fucking Miley Cyrus), you can almost hear Terry Richardson’s heavy breathing over the processed sounds vaguely reminiscent of a human person singing.

Whatever, Miley. I can’t even deal with you today. She looks beautiful (am I the only person in history who loves her hair like that?) and the video is relatively arty, if you’re into that type of thing. I’m not.

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  • Carrie

    Wait….what happened to 7?

    • Julia Sonenshein

      Good catch!

  • Alexis H

    1. The girl is a one trick pony.
    2. Those gross fake nails nails. Nooooo, why would you wear those, whyyyy?

  • Eileen

    Sigh. Miley Cyrus is not only beautiful but an adult, now, so can she please stop acting like a 14-year-old? I’m all about embracing one’s sexuality, but she just screams, “Look at me! I’m a grown-up! I have boobs! You want to fuck me, right? I’m a sexual object, right? Because I’m grown up now!” with pretty much everything she does. (Same thing with the cursing/drug references – we get it, Miley, you’re not a kid anymore, except you totally still act like one)

    • BrittanyLouis

      Yes! I keep looking at her and wondering if I was as insufferable as she was when I got to adulthood? If so I need to buy my parents and friends lavish gifts to say sorry.

  • Cee

    Uuugh *shudder* licking the hammer?! *germaphobic convulsion*

    • http://poorgoop.com/ Samantha

      Between that and her naked self sitting on the wrecking ball, I just want to give my brain (and her person) a shower.

  • Katie

    Remember that time Miley dressed up like a bird and danced in a cage? and we were all like “Whoah Miley!”

    We were so young then.