A pizza joint in Illinois, not far from the University, got in all sorts of trouble after offering free pizza to any woman who came into the restaurant and flashed her sweater kittens to the employees. That’s right, a view of your ta-tas was worth about 11 bucks in pizza. Drew’s Pizza took to Twitter to announce this fantabulous offer, with tweets that read things like “Show us your tits! Free Pizza!” and “Last call! Tits for pizza!” After the public was outraged, rightly so, they removed their Facebook page and Twitter feed. From CNet:
However, one employee of the pizzeria, Brice Hartmann, defended the promotion to WICD-TV: “If someone comes in and says ‘I’m drunk. If I flash you can I get a pizza, yeah, sure why not? It makes everybody happy. It makes the crowd happy.”
If we can’t make the crowd happy, how can any of us be happy?
The unnamed and alleged owner of Drew’s told WICD-TV that his employees are never late for work. They must be happy.
This is just so sexist and stupid. I have never heard of a business offering dudes free salad or something if they come in and flash their balls at employees. And I’m sorry, but as a professional cocktail drinker I have never been that drunk where I would flash my girls for any food item, including Godiva. I get that pizza is delicious and all, but is it really worth losing your dignity over to be able to get a slice? I think not. I would refuse to eat there until they offered a free beer for dicks promo.
I asked my lovely and talented coworkers about what their breasts are worth and here is what they said:
Sam Escoabar: MY BREASTS DESERVE SPICY CHICKEN WING PIZZA DAMMIT
Jamie Peck:My boobs are worth the kind of pizza that nobody else wants - daiya and tofurkey sausage
Koa Beck: Marinara with basil. Thin crust!
Joanna Danger: My boobs are worth pizza bagels.
Julia Sonenshein: Shit, mine are worth Amy’s pizza. But like the expensive kind with goat cheese and shit. Coupons not accepted.
And my tits are worth Chuck E. Cheese sugar coated pizzas so if anyone wants to see any breasteseseses, send pizza to the NYC office, thank you.