5 Reasons The ‘Naked And Scared Challenge’ Is The Worst Idea Ever

naked and scared challenge

Listen guys, I love being scared. My birthday is October 29th, Halloween is my favorite holiday and I feel genuinely incomplete all of October until I get to visit my first haunted house of the season. I have seen Imprint and Cigarette Burns and Oldboy entirely too many times. But this “Naked and Scared Challenge” — it is just too much.

Apparently, ShocktoberFest, Pennsylvania’s “premier haunted scream park,” is offering visitors the opportunity to go through its haunted houses without any clothes on. As in, naked. As in, being jumped at, screamed at and repeatedly startled while totally in the nude. According to the site’s description, it is intended to increase the level of fear caused by the haunted houses:

Think you’re brave? Experience The Unknown haunted house with ZERO protection! We dare you to take the Naked and Scared Challenge only at Shocktoberfest!

Inspired by the hit show “Naked and Afraid” on the Discovery channel, Shocktoberfest has created The Naked and Scared Challenge to test your fears and phobias on a whole new level. For the first time ever you can now experience the Unknown Haunted House totally naked! See if you have Gymnophobia- the fear of being nude. Naked and Scared tickets are limited. Online ticket purchase recommended.

Here’s why this is a terrible idea:

  1. Your body parts. When people get scared, they often jump back and grab whatever is nearest to them. You may think you’re about to squeeze your boyfriend’s thigh, but — well, you get the idea. This will presumably end of your journey.
  2. Painful boob swinging. Okay, maybe this is just me (I mean, it almost certainly is just me, but just go along with it), but I tend to jump a lot when I’m afraid of shit. If you have DDDs and aren’t wearing a bra, this fucking hurts. It is not a pain I would love to have while simultaneously being chased through a haunted house.
  3. No protection. As in, if somebody dressed up in a terrifying costume gets close to you in the dark, you’re going to feel so much less of a boundary than you otherwise would. They likely are not be trying to make you feel sexually intimidated, but it’s a pretty strong possibility when it comes to being naked and scared.
  4. Your bladder. What if you literally pee yourself? They do mention that “there is an additional cleaning charge if we scare the p*ss out of you!” but I’m pretty sure they’re joking and I’m also pretty sure that would make the haunted house very gross very fast.
  5. Ghost shaming. Guys, it’s an epidemic — people shaming ghosts, ghosts shaming people. Okay, this one isn’t a real reason per se, but I do sincerely love the idea of a real haunted house where the ghosts feel offended by all the naked humans up in there home.

Fortunately, they do give a serious note that any sort of “sexual misconduct, inappropriate or disrespectful behavior” will not be tolerated — something that, unfortunately, often needs to be stated. Hopefully it will not only be explicitly explained prior to guests going through the challenge, but also 100% enforced should anybody break those rules.

I love being afraid as much as the next girl, but being terrified while naked? That sounds like a whole lot of stress and frustration that I just plain don’t want to deal with. Ever. One guy said of the experience, “My penis literally grew arms and crawled back inside me when I heard the chainsaws.” Literally, you say? Oh, dear. That said, if you are not afraid of being naked and you really, truly love haunted houses, I say go for it! And let me know how it goes, because as of right now, I am infinitely too much of a wimp to ever do so.

[via Geekologie]

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    • Fabel

      This has to be a sexual thing though, right? I mean, I’ve been to nude beaches & whatnot where being naked is NOT sexual, but being naked while walking through a haunted house sort of has a different vibe?

      • All-Nudist.com

        A different vibe, yes. But necessarily sexual? Haunted houses and scary movies pluck certain strings in our harp, and adding nudity along with the perceived vulnerability that implies would only increase that artificial fear that we find to be so fun!

        If the ‘fear’ we feel watching scary movies or going to haunted houses is indeed sexual in origin, then perhaps you’re right. But if we’re to judge all exciting human activities as being basically sexual in nature, then how is attending a haunted house nude any different than doing so not nude other than the desired effect is heightened?

        If ‘fun’ then is all sexual, then ALL fun must be either considered acceptable or not. The Puritans judged NOT. Please, let’s not go back to there!

        The point is, let these folks try it and if the world ends because a few naked people go through a ‘haunted house’, maybe we shouldn’t do it again! Lacking that outcome, who gives a damn? Don’t we have a lot more to worry about today?

        We all need to lighten up a bit, ya think?

    • Shadow

      I would do it – and NO it is not a sexual thing – I am a naturist (Nudist) and prefer to do everything without clothes – It has nothing to do with sex or sexuality and we are always looking for activities that we can do – this just gives me one more thing to do in a small amount of variety

    • AANR

      What a perfect of example of human fear. We hope the author changes her mind and considers attending this event. Having never tried something before it does not mean it’s a terrible idea. Where is the spirit of adventure and fun?

      On Behalf of American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR), we are extremely excited to hear about the Shocktoberfest’s Naked and Scared Challenge. The owner of Shocktoberfest is doing exactly what he needs to do as a business owner he is being innovative. AANR’s mission is to advocate social nudity and nude recreation in appropriate settings. We are here to inform and educate society about the value and enjoyment of nude recreation. We think this challenge is a fantastic idea; it pushes our comfort levels which is necessary as humans to force us out of complacency.

      Most everyone knows one of the most vulnerable states, is to be nude. The owner of Shocktoberfest is simply bringing to the public the next level of fear, which is his job. People fear the unknown, and ignorance is often a response to this misunderstanding.

      AANR and its affiliates support the challenge and will continue to promote his idea and support the nudist rights. If you would like more information about what we stand for and who we are as a group, please go to http://www.aanr.com.

    • All-Nudist.com

      Fun article! Misinformed and lacking any understanding of the social nudist experience, but funny and does raise some valid points, especially as to scared ladies wetting their, um, well, guess it wouldn’t be ‘pants’!

      But hey, you only live once (so they say) and how many times are you going to get the chance to be scared, ah, sh**less, naked? Maybe that’s a bad example.

      Listen, it’s a lot safer than nude bungee-jumping and cheaper too! Or sky-diving! If you want to pretend that you live life on the edge, here’s an opportunity to prove it!

      And just think about what a great conversation topic it would be! In between people talking about a boat ride to Staten Island or how great their new Lexus is you drop in, “Well, yeah, but the naked haunted house was pretty cool too!”

      C’mon, take the leap! Or… are you chicken…? ;-)

    • Nakedly Sane

      Hey, it sounds like great fun. I wish I lived closer.

    • Dave

      Everything you want to do nude is sexual… you are lying if you disagree.

      • Dave

        Unless it is sleeping or taking a shower… but if you want to run around with a bunch of naked people doing things that you normally wear cloths for, it is a sexual fetish. You are foolish if you think people who have modesty can’t see through that.