The NY Post has decided it’s high time that women who marry for money need to be defended, and they’ve taken up the cause. The site interviewed multiple women for a piece on “the new trophy wives,” allowing each woman to describe the pains of being subjected to bitter meanies who don’t drop $20K to “celebrate.”
The first woman, former model Stephanie Adams, recalled a traumatizing incident involving a hella jealouz boutique employee:
Handing over her husband’s American Express platinum card in the Giorgio Armani boutique, former Playboy centerfold Stephanie Adams thought she caught the word “gold digger” from the disgruntled assistant muttering under her breath. Then, when Adams’ older investment-banker husband stepped forward to sign for the $20,000 purchase, the saleswoman didn’t give the card back so much as throw it, almost hitting Adams in the face.
“She was dripping bitterness and resentment,” recalls the 5-foot-9, 115-pound model-turned-entrepreneur who lives downtown.
What should have been a pleasant experience — celebrating a new business deal with an extravagant shopping trip — was cut short as the couple swept out of the Fifth Avenue store and into their car.
Go shopping, they said. It will be fun, they said. Spend more on clothes than many people make in a year, they said. Sad face!
Sadly, she has “faced such disdain” for as long as she’s been married to a mega-rich guy (well, and when she was married to another mega-rich guy). But she has two business degrees and a huge portfolio, so Adams doesn’t feel she deserves to be treated as such — despite calling herself a “trophy wife” and “arm candy.”
Other women mentioned include Georgina Chapman, Julie Lin, Suzanne Ircha and several others. Lin feels resentful because people compare women like her — she dropped her marketing career to marry an investment banker — to Anna Nicole Smith. She calls herself “Trophy Wife 2.0,” noting that people found it “hilarious” when she said she was “going to be a trophy wife.” I, too, find it a little hilarious because I have zero idea why she would feel the need to add “trophy” rather than just keep it at “wife.” She could have added “and mother” to the end of it or “loving and happy” to the beginning, but she felt like adding “trophy” and seems to be completely oblivious to why somebody might find that ridiculous. But at least it takes serious effort!
“Before we went to the Hamptons, I went on a shopping spree and tried on all my outfits in front of my husband. I was like: ‘Is it too booby?’ or ‘Is it not booby enough?’ He was very honest with his feedback, and I’m the same way when he asks my advice.”
I’m not sure how I feel about an adult saying the phrase “too booby” over and over, but all right, I’ll go with it.
While I fully understand these women deserve respect for being accomplished in their own ways, albeit by means of rich people privilege, I think that the term “trophy wife” is by definition a negative thing. Trophies are objects; wives are people. By objectifying yourself with a term like that, you open yourself up to being considered in a negative light as less than human.
What’s wrong with just being a wife? Or, actually, just a woman? A confident, accomplished, self-sufficient woman who happened to have married a rich person. I mean, if you married that person simply for they’re money, then yes, you seem like a vapid asshole and kind of open yourself to criticism regardless. But if it just turned out that way, then why bother advertising yourself as a “trophy” anything?
Another woman, Donna Spangler, says people who are critical of her and other trophy wives’ lifestyles should take a step back and look at it practically:
“If you’re a woman in your 30s and 40s, it makes sense to seek someone who is financially stable, who is going to be there to provide for you and cherish you. You can get all high and mighty and principled about these things, but anybody who says otherwise is flat-out lying.”
Again, I think it’s fine to be with somebody who’s wealthy (though “financially stable” and “insanely rich” are not necessarily the same thing), but I personally think it makes more sense to just be financially stable on your own. You never know when you will have to support yourself, so why not shift your goal from being dependent to seeking somebody you can be mutually supportive with, financially and emotionally, rather than insisting on a discrepancy between you two?
Photo: Getty Images.