• Tue, Sep 24 2013

Rihanna Traumatized By Most Terrifying Sex Show Ever

Rihanna sex show

The life of Rihanna is certainly a strange one. While I have found the pseudo-documentaries about Katy PerryJustin Bieber and Beyonce that reveal only what their PR people want you to see, I would be truly interested in seeing one in 5 years about Rihanna’s life. Good gracious, that girl has some stories. And a lot of bad fashion moves, but that’s okay in the long run, right?

Apparently, Rihanna went to something completely insane while partying (surprise) in Thailand. According to this story told on her Twitter, there is a sex show in existence that defies all definitions of ugly, evil and awful:

“Either I was ph*ck wasted lastnight, or I saw a Thai woman pull a live bird,2 turtles,razors,shoot darts and ping pong, all out of her p*$$y. The birds feathers were all damp! Lol And THEN she tried to turn water into coke in her $!! Uhh yea, all I’m saying is water went in and soda came out! I’m traumatized!!!”

WTF. What the fucking fuck. I’m all about being open to new experiences but I do not know how or why this would ever occur. To be fair, she does mention she could have been “ph*ck wasted,” whatever that means, but GOOD GOD MAN.

On that note, I need to go wash my hands and brain out with Dial, then pour bleach on my thoughts for the next three months. Perhaps I do not want to see a documentary on Rihanna’s life — there might wind up being reenactments. :(

Photo via Getty Images.

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  • Julia Sonenshein

    Wait, oh my god. How did she do the coke/water thing?

    • JL

      Poor sweet child. The water turns into “coke” when it mixes with the feces in the anus. Water+Poop= Brown liquid a.k.a Coke.

      Your welcome.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      There is no god.

  • Meredith Hirt

    It’s gotta take a LOT to traumatize Rihanna, so that show must have been really “ph*cked” up.

  • http://poorgoop.com/ Samantha

    I hope she was “ph*cked” in Phuket.
    But seriously, that poor bird.

  • Cee

    That cant be good for her vagina or for the animals…*shudder* Now I need to bleach my eyeballs.

  • Char

    Rihanna, forever unclean.

  • MW

    I’m not usually the self-righteous party pooper, but I have a really hard time reading something like this and wondering where the discussion is about Thailand’s sex trafficking, slavery, and abuse.

    I know it’s hilarious as phuck, etc. etc., but I would hope there’d be some sort of reflection – obviously not from Rihanna, but on blogs such as The Gloss – regarding how a woman winds up on a public stage, in front of a bunch of foreigners, pulling animals and razors out of her cooch.

    We’re all about the empowered hooker and I personally LOVE The Harlotry series here, but these are very different sets of circumstances. I’m in Thailand two times/year to visit family and friends, and while I’m by no means an expert on the topic, these trips can be eye-opening and horrible. I usually pass through BKK and refuse to go to Phuket. Hopefully a tone-deaf tweet by Rihanna can spark a discussion about the extremes of Thailand’s sex trade.

  • conradshull

    “What do you call yourselves?” “The Aristocrats.”

  • CrazyLogic

    I’m just going to tell myslef that it was a strangely themed magic show and all that was slight of hand. Then I’m going to go wash my brain.