I’ve had a complicated relationship with clothing and fashion for most of my life. From ages 12-18 I wore uniforms 5 days a week, so I never really learned how to nail it all seven days. At best, I can hope for three good outfits a week, and then the rest of the time, I kind of phone it in.
Here’s the thing though: I love clothes. But I’ve had a hard time learning what works for me in the past. Luckily, I’m finally starting to come into my own and learn how to make myself look presentable (again, about three times a week). Next year, I’m aiming for four great outfits a week, and who knows where I’ll go from there? Nothing can stop me!
Here’s my philosophy with clothing. I want to be able to wear clothes I feel like this in:
But want to look like this lady.
Nowadays, my style is aspirational sexy librarian tomboy, if there were such a thing. I’m getting pretty comfortable with how I dress, but trust me when I say that wasn’t always the case.
Here’s 10 super embarrassing fashion mistakes I made before I knew better. Someone save me from my past self.
1. I wore the world’s stupidest hats.
Weird newsboy caps? Yes please! Those hats that only fishermen wear? Why not? Basically, I wore specialty hats that were specific to industries I was not apart of.
2. Low rise jeans and exposed undies
Please keep in mind, however, that I wasn’t even cool enough to wear thongs, so I just had my silly patterned cotton undies from Target showing to the world. You’re welcome.
3. I wore heels that I couldn’t walk in.
I have a lot of talents (like making soup and eating it), but walking in heels isn’t one of them. Why did I continuously put myself through that? They make cute flats!
4. I wore giant clothes to try and look thinner.
It’s stupid how much dumb time I wasted trying to dress to look thinner than I am, AND I was doing it wrong! Wearing big shapeless sacks didn’t do much to make me look thinner, but they did make me feel like I was hiding myself.
5. My bras didn’t fit.
Like every woman in the entire world, my bra didn’t fit me right for years, and the sizes were off abysmally. Either they trapped my boobs into straight-jacket Hell, digging into my skin and causing irritation, or they were comically large and my boobs just fell out of them.
6. I was really sensitive to people telling me my clothing wasn’t girly enough, or that I dressed like a boy.
Didn’t they know how damn sexy tomboys are?
7. I wore capris, and looked like this woman.
The problem was that I was 12, and also the problem was that I was wearing capris.
8. I wore a lot of paisley and peasant skirts.
My thankfully short-lived hippie face was unpleasant for everyone.
9. I stupidly listened to this noise:
Now, I’m like “THANKS I’LL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.”
10. I was afraid to feel confident, no matter what I was wearing.
Now, I try to just be happy with what I’m wearing and feel confident, even on my off days. Who cares? It’s just clothing! We’re all naked underneath. Pervs.
What were your most egregious fashion mistakes? Get it out–this is a safe space.