First of all, there are zero spoilers regarding Breaking Bad‘sÂ last season in this post. I’m not a complete asshole, I promise. I definitely watched the series finale, though, so if you wanna discuss that stuff, hit a girl up by email!
Second, you know you wanna dress up as one of these characters. YouÂ know it. So here’s how to do it! Some of these costumes are DIY, some are store bought, all are awesome.
First Season Walt
1. Put on a loose light green shirt, like this one:
2. Get brave. Strip down to your underwear.
3. And by “your underwear” I mean these godawful things you would normally never wear:
4. Except you’ll still look hot and you won’t GAF.
Jesse & Walt Cooking
3. If you’re Walt, be sure to talk down to whomever is playing Jesse. If you’re Jesse, be sure to eff things up constantly.
Walt as Heisenberg
1. Watch severalÂ Kanye West videos to pump up your ego.
2. No, really, you should be feeling like you could beat God’s ass at volleyball.
Â 3. If you have facial hair to shave, shave it into a goatee. If not, wear a fake one.
4. Put on a skin cap to cover up your hair.
5. Wear fake glasses (or real ones, if you got ‘em).
6. Put on a black windbreaker.
7. Wear dark black sunglasses.
8. And, of course,Â the hat.
1. Accept that everyone at the parties you attend will ask why you’re such a bitch even though your husband is a meth manufacturing sociopathic serial killer.
2. Put on a pretty coral robe (seriously, what better excuse to wear something incredibly comfortable for Halloween than the whole “I just had a baby and my husband is cray” thing?):
3. Wrap a pale green sash around your waist.
4. Blow out your hair away from your face.
5. Apply just simple eyeliner, mascara, peach blush and coral lipstick.
6. Constantly be smoking a cigarette at inappropriate times.
1. Be smarter than everyone else and damn tired that nobody recognizes that.
2. Wear the same wig cap from earlier.
3. Put on this simple black jacket:
4. Have a heart of gold, sort of.
5. …except be terrifying.
1. When in doubt, wear purple, like this plum dress:
2. Wear your hair down and parted slightly to the side.
3. Put on some pretty purple earrings:
4. Bring a crown for whomever is hosting the party you’re at that you mysteriously found at a “vintage store.”
5. Steal stuff. (No, not really, your friends will hate you and it’s weird.)
Now for some villains!