• Wed, Oct 2 2013

How To Make Your Boobs Look Giant (Even When They’re Not)

Halloween boobs

We all have our crosses to bear in life. I was not blessed with huge … tracts of land. I don’t tend to lose too much sleep over that, but sometimes a person wants to change things up a bit, especially for Halloween. Maybe you’ve got an Anna Nicole Smith or Kim Kardashian costume on the hanger, or maybe you just want to fill out that Sexy Bumblebee costume really well. Luckily, giant boobs are really easy to fake.

How to make your boobs look giant (even when they’re not):

Materials: 

  • 2 padded, push-up bras
  • Bronzer and highlighter
  • Pair of socks
  • Safety pin (optional)

To start with, this is what I look like normally:

halloween boobs 1

And this is what I look like in a standard “ZOMG Add 2 Sizes!” WonderBra. (When putting on the bra, lean over and grab your boob and any extra side flesh and haul it into the cups.)

Halloween boobs 2

That’s not too bad, but it’s not going to make my Kim Kardashian costume look any more believable. To really shove them up there, I roll up a gym sock into a little tube and stuff it into the bra cup, along the underwire at the outside edge so it sort of shoves the boob further up and to the center. There are silicone and water-filled bust inserts for that purpose, but I personally prefer socks because I like to be able to squash them into whatever shape I think will work best. (Also I once used a pair of water-filled bust inserts, and then my mother-in-law’s dog got one and ate it. He was so sad. He took one good chomp and whatever foul-tasting, non-water substance was in there started melting out in his mouth. He looked incredibly distressed, but he just kept chewing while I was like, “No, Kipper, you don’t want that. Give that back! No, don’t take it to show my mother-in-law…”)

Once the socks are in place, the biggest thing you can do to make your boobs look giant on photos is to do some contouring with makeup. Any contouring powder or bronzer will work. I use a L’Oreal GlamBronze Duo bronzer compact because it has both highlighter and bronzer in it, and I apply it with a large brush for the bronzer and a smaller blush brush for the highlighter.

Take the bronzer part and dust it on your chest between your boobs and over each one in a Y shape. I like to do that before putting on any of the bras, because if I put a bra on first it’s harder to get the brush in between the boobs. Once the bronzer is on, then put the bra on and apply the highlighter to the swell of the boob.

I also put a tinted moisturizer all over my chest, basically from chin to nipple. That makes sure my chest skin matches my face skin and creates an even canvas for the bronzer so it will stay longer. Here’s what the WonderBra looks like with bonus socks and contouring makeup:

Halloween boobs 3That’s better, but at this point the boobs are in kind of a precarious position. Thanks to the socks, they’re basically over the edge of the first push-up bra now, and could come flying out at any moment. In profile, the fact that I’ve padded myself into next week is extremely obvious. Your mileage may vary, but in my case the nipples are basically sticking out over the edge of the first bra, which is not attractive. So now I put on another underwire push-up bra. This one is a basic WonderBra push-up bra in a 32-DD with the straps as tight as I can make them. Again, bend over to make sure all the boob tissue is in the cup where it belongs.

Then put on the second bra. That looks like this:

Halloween boobs

Now the first bra is basically a solid, sock-stuffed boob-sling upon which the real boobs are resting, with another padded push-up bra over all that to make the resulting Frankenboob look like it might be an actual boob to the outside observer. This is where I normally stop, but if you want them to look even bigger or get a more pushed-up look, several of my friends swear by grabbing all four bra straps and safety pinning them together near the base of your neck. That will be uncomfortable as heck, but will give you a bustline like whoa. According to Deviantart user Pomp-Berry, using racerback bras gives much the same effect, and I suspect it would be slightly more comfortable. But it all depends on exactly how big you want to go, and I almost always just stop after the second push-up bra and call it a day.

Also, having a tan will make this look way more impressive in photos. Fair skin tends to flatten out on film, while a tan emphasizes contour.

I should reiterate that this feels really weird and is not a thing to wear if your Halloween plans involve a desire to be relaxed and/or comfortable. Your photos might come back looking like you were naturally blessed with either very large breasts or the money to buy a good pair of implants, but you will never forget that you are squashed into multiple tight bras stuffed with heavy socks all night. Wearing all these bras can make a person look like a large-breasted woman, but I know of no trick that will make me actually feel like one.

Also it usually feels like your boobs will come flying out of this scaffolding at any point, but I’ve never seen that actually happen, so you’re probably safe.

Update: In fact, to see the safety pin “bonus hoist” in action and a particularly impressive performance of the multi-bra technique, check out this awesome “How to trick people into thinking you have big boobs” video by Jenna Marbles, who gives basically the same process but in video form. As she points out, these are all old-school tricks on the car model/pin-up girl/drag queen scene, but it’s very helpful to see the techniques done live, and she does a really good job at illustrating exactly how the socks go in where. (I personally couldn’t get a decent photo of the sock going in without flashing my whole boob and rendering this post utterly NSFW. Or at least more NSFW than it already is, given that it is essentially a whole page of boobs.)

For all our Halloween coverage, click here!

 

Share This Post:
  • Julia Sonenshein

    Epic, Liz.

  • Tania

    But I don’t want land.

    http://youtu.be/C6qHdtyBWy4

  • Nerdy Lucy

    I want this in reverse.

  • nik

    Am I the only one who has noticed that this is EXACTLY what Jenna Marbles did in her video…2 years ago? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HErdtVkR3Nw Pretty much word for word.

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      Oh, that is the same! Hers came out better, though. I think she uses a bolder hand with the makeup. I’m always too timid with the bronzer. I’m really fair, so it always looks too strong to me, but it’s much lighter in pictures.

      Anyway, these tricks were for sure not invented by me. I was a pin-up model for several weird years, and I picked this stuff up from some friendly makeup artists and import car models many years ago. They know more about dressing boobs than I ever will. But there are tons of good tutorials for this kind of stuff out there if one is interested. An acquaintance of mine did this brilliant one, which i highly recommend: http://pomp-berry.deviantart.com/art/Cosplay-Cleavage-Tutorial-363874640

      Its the same thing I do, but she uses three bras and a racerback and the results are amazing. Seriously, I’d have thought she got implants if I hadn’t done the multi-bra thing myself.

      This stuff is crazy effective. I only really use them for Halloween though.

    • Julia Sonenshein

      dude that’s how the internet works.

    • Suthap Klomrod

      I gave the methods inside a full test run over 6 weeks and with 2 weeks I had already started to notice a difference. It took just under 4 weeks for me to gain one cup size taking me from a B cup to a C cup.At 6 weeks I had seen even more improvement and was a very full C… I decided to keep going for another week as it would take me to a D cup which was my goal to start with.

      Proven Tips, Tools and Tactics To bigger boobs
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  • momsterteacher

    I never would have guessed it wasn’t real!

    - MomsterTeacher

  • Muggle

    What can I do if I’m super-pale and bronzer makes me look dirty? Not like hot dirty, but gross dirty?

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      A bronzer with a gray tone will work better then. It will look more like a shadow and less like an errant streak of spray tan. Eyeshadow works too, if you can’t find a good bronzer shade. Or if you can find one of those highlight/contour palettes, those work well and are designed to blend so they don’t tend to look dirty like bronzers can.
      I find the contour works best for me if I apply it with a big blush brush. I use circular motions and a light hand, because you can always add more but if you get too much it’s hard to fix. I think applying tinted moisturizer before the bronzer helps make the makeup look more natural.

  • PernRider

    I also do not have … large tracts of land (well, I do, just not in my chest. Mother Nature has a sick and twisted sense of humor, especially as she’s ganged up with fashion designers to plot against me … )

    I SWEAR by one of those “add two cup sizes” bras … it’s my DAILY go-to. I actually SAFETY-PINNED the center together, as well, to add more cleavage (which cracks up the friends who’ve managed to spot said safety pin … they’re already aware of my boob envy and/or question my sanity). I frequently also add what I call my “boobs” (which cracks the kids up, as they like to experiment with them, and has thrown a few of my even closer friends for a loop if they happen to be over when I’m getting ready and don’t remember where I happened to take them out and set them down, as I’ll suddenly yell out “Hey, has anyone seen my boobs? Anybody know where my boobs are? I can’t find my boobs!”), or “chicken cutlets”. I have two pairs, one of which has adhesive and is joined in the center, so works GREAT to amplify the cleavage (or, well, it would, if the center pieces hadn’t come unglues, and that reminds me, I need new boobs … ). Add the other, “regular” pair of chicken cutlets, between the adhesive pair and the overstuffed miracle bra, and I think my chest could stop a bullet!

    Mind you, I’m a B CUP. Sick, twisted joke, did I mention that? A plus-sized B CUP!! As I see it, these little tricks are simply taking back what Mother Nature forgot to pass out to me, and I can’t afford the surgery for (first thing I’m doing when I hit the lotto, by the way, and any of my closest friends who hit it instead of me have sworn to pay for it for me!)

    When I do this, though, I have more than a few times been described as “stacked”. Which cracks me up … because that’s a VERY apt description! xD

    Downside: last year’s Halloween costume included a deeply plunging neckline (it ended RIGHT at the joining of my bra cups! Stacked like this, it was great, realistic (I never thought to use the makeup!!), and EXTREMELY impressive … but I came extremely close to a nip slip, more than once throughout the night! And mind, this was TRICK-OR-TREATING WITH MY KIDS … lmao (For a visual … see my profile pic, as a matter of fact!)

    • http://www.ambiencechaser.com/ Elizabeth Licata

      “When I do this, though, I have more than a few times been described as “stacked”. Which cracks me up … because that’s a VERY apt description! xD”

      Ha! That’s a very apt description!

  • Elizabeth

    I do some of this too! I’m a 30/32E, so I’m already rather quite large, but big boobs do not always mean nice cleavage.

  • Nick Benson

    Exercises can be done to enlarge the breasts as well. It is the cheapest and most natural way to enlarge them. It does require a lot of dedication to get this method to work though. One of the most popular breast exercises is a push up. Start doing 10 per day then gradually increasing the amount you do as you get stronger.MORE AT — http://tinyurl.com/p5bkrok

  • Steven McKarthy

    Try this proven breast enhancement exercises that really work and you should notice results in two to four weeks.

    1. Practice a modified push-up, which is the one of the best breast enlargement exercises available. Kneel down on a comfortable place, such as an exercise mat or the carpet. Cross your mortise joint, and bend forward. Your palms will be placed facing down on the ground about the same level with your shoulders and a few inches out from the body on each side. The elbows should be pointing up in the air and gently pull back just like in a normal push-up pose. It is a good breast enlargement exercise that really works.

    2. Lift your torso up with your palms. Keep your ankles crossed while doing this breast enlargement exercise, so you don’t lift too much weight. Also, don’t straighten the elbows all the way as you rise, but keep them bent to avoid damaging the joints.

    MORE AT — http://tinyurl.com/olxzzjx

  • Steven McKarthy

    One of the breast enlargement techniques which you can use to make you breasts bigger is heating pad. You can use a heating pad to quicken your breast enlargement results. This works and I know yours will not be an exception. I have been opportune to read a lot of articles that claim heating pad can be effective in enlarging the size of your breast.MORE AT — http://tinyurl.com/putf88h

  • Suthap Klomrod

    When I looked back at the progress and growth I was blown away. I didn’t expect it to work as good as it did and was unsure if I’d see even a small increase but 7 weeks later I was two full cup sizes bigger.And the best part about the Boost Your Bust method is that you don’t have to go through any expensive and painful surgery.If you’d like to increase your own cup size then just visit the Boost Your Bust site below. I recommend the methods 100% Proven Techniques Help how to make breasts bigger – Guaranteed!http://boostyourbust.com/?hop=25151020#ic

  • Steven McKarthy

    Breast enlargement exercise regimens are likewise very effective yet natural methods for enhancing the boobs. There are yoga sessions and aerobic routines that could help you increase your bust size as well as stay fit and healthy. Women with saggy and droopy breasts are most likely to benefit from exercise routines for breast augmentation. That’s because the exercises are geared towards firming and tightening the breasts specifically the pectoral muscles. These routines include chest presses, basic breast stretches, chest fly and pushups.
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