• Mon, Oct 7 - 2:40 pm ET

Jezebel Writes Incredibly Messed Up Article About Chris Brown’s Virginity Loss

Chris Brown virginity loss

As you all know, we hate Chris Brown. Really, we do. Just as we do not like any man who unapologetically commits violent acts against women and taunts others with threatening words, we do not like Chris Brown. But when Brown told The Guardian that he had lost his virginity at age 8 to a teenage girl “who was 14 or 15,” that hatred should not cloud judgment regarding a crime. The quote in question:

He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? “Yeah, really. Uh-huh.” He grins and chuckles. “It’s different in the country.” Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins, and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go. “By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I’m saying? Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.”

See, this is super messed up. 8-year-olds are not able to consent to sexual contact. Sure, there’s the whole “experimenting” thing kids do, but playing doctor with your peers is completely different than a female 6 – 7 years older sexually assaulting a third grader. This behavior doesn’t get covered by Romeo & Juliet exemptions.

However, Jezebel writer Doug Barry wrote an article the blames Brown for what happened to him and jokes about how he’s just bragging:

Of all the pop stars milling about the culture landscape these days, Chris Brown has a singular talent for making it impossible to sympathize with him even if he’s recounting a vaguely traumatic incident from his childhood. You know, like that time he lost his virginity to teenage girl. When he was eight. …

Maybe this is just a boast-gone-awry, or a story that Brown’s told to his friends one too many times, shaving another year or six months off his age with each iteration to make himself sound like some sort of mythical sex Jesus. It’s like a reverse Methuselah, who, sure, might have been some really old dude, but definitely did not live for 969 years. Some legends can get a little out of hand after enough retellings. Then again, if this is true, then congratulations to Brown…for turning a personal confession into yet another opportunity to showcase how unpleasant he seems.

Uh, I don’t think telling people you were sexually abused as a child by a significantly older individual is worthy of the “mythical sex Jesus” comment. Regardless of how Brown views his experience, and regardless of the awful, obviously reprehensible things he’s done, this was wrong. Just because a middle school student whose teacher had sex with her is under the impression that it was consensual doesn’t inherently make that notion true.

While I would be appalled at any website insinuating that an 8-year-old child having sexual experiences with somebody in their teen years is anything but abuse, I am especially saddened that Jezebel posted this. They’re usually one of the most empathetic, anti-victim-blaming sites out there. It’s also a bummer because Barry is one of the only men who writes for Jezebel these days (that I know of, but please correct me if I’m wrong!), so it sucks that he could have given a strong voice to this story and instead did…this.

As many of their commenters pointed out, this would have been a great opportunity to discuss the cycle of violence that plagues our culture. Obviously, not everybody who is abused goes on to harm other people (most, in fact, do not), but some do. When one person is abused, they often internalize that abuse and, in order to deal with their victimhood, go on to harm other human beings. This obviously doesn’t give anybody the right to abuse others, but it is a hugely important factor to examine and understand. Instead, we have an adult blaming a child for something that wasn’t his fault.

As I’ve said many times, it is not okay to permit or wish violence on those who are violent. We need to open up more of a dialogue on this issue rather than writing off some people as complicit in their abuse while others are labeled victims.

Photo: Getty Images

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  • MammaSweetpea

    Regardless of how I dislike some people, I would never make light of their abusive sexual experience. As a young man in the black community, as a bad-ass R nB artist, Chris has no choice but to tell the story as if he had control over the situation.
    Don’t care how much porn he watched, or how many wet dreams he may have had. No 8 year old boy is emotionally, psychologically ready for what went on between him and that 14 year old girl. Right about now, I’m cuttin the guy some slack.

  • http://ThePeppercat.com/ Candace

    YAY CALLING OUT JEZEBEL. That was incredibly thoughtless and insensitive.

  • Cee

    I think Jezebel obviously got it wrong. They hate the guy. I hate him too. He should not have assaulted another person the way he did…but just because he did that does not make him less of a victim of sexual assault.

    As I revealed on Mommyish this weekend, I was sexually assaulted at around the same age that Chris Brown was. And, while people may disagree and or dislike me, it does not make any of what I experienced less horrifying and traumatic. A person’s feelings toward me and what I have experienced can..for the most part…be exclusive. Of course, there may be things I do, though surely not beat someone up, because of what I have gone through, but my rudeness toward somebody, your disagreement in the way I view the world or anything else does not have to do with what happened to me.

    You can dislike Chris Brown, the things he says, what he did to Rihanna and so on but it does not take away that he has suffered some bad experiences. We cannot say “its okay, he can do what he wants because he was a victim” but we also cannot say “he wasn’t raped because he is a douche.”

  • http://blisstree.com/ Carrie Murphy

    Reason #8432 why I don’t give Jezebel clicks anymore.

  • Alyssa

    Doug Barry has written offensive articles before. He’s one of the reasons I don’t take Jezebel seriously anymore. I read this article and it was just terrible. I don’t even understand why he thought this was okay or appropriate.

  • jon

    kinda disappointed in jezebel…. now I’m going to have to find another site who’ll tell me what my opinion about stuff should be

  • DC is Evil

    There are actually people on the planet in 2013 that STILL READ Jezebel?

    “I’ll take ‘Losers’ for $1000, Alex.”