Women of the world: Everything is wrong with you. You must be both ready for sex at any time and an object of sexual desire at all times, but you must not know it, act like it, or look like it. And no matter how demurely sexy you are, there’s always the chance that random parts of your body might be having conversations with complete strangers. There you are, reading the bible to blind children, and your harlot thumbs or slutty eyebrows are out where everyone can see them. (Except the blind children, presumably.)
Emily Schuman of Cupcakes and Cashmere is one of the most successful personal style bloggers around. Like many successful bloggers, she has her share of fans and detractors, but some of those detractors are just weird.
Schuman told Into the Gloss:
One of the first mean comments I got on my site—you always remember your first—was someone who said I had ‘slutty eyebrows.’ I cried and called my friends saying, ‘I had no idea my eyebrows were slutty!’
We had no idea eyebrows could even be promiscuous. Are they wandering off and doing stuff with your ears while they’re supposed to be exclusive with your nose?
A quick search for “slutty eyebrows” does not help the situation. The pictured brows run the gamut from pencil-thin to Audrey Hepburn-thick. Many of them are perfectly natural brows, some of which appear to be on the faces of young children. The only consistent characteristic seems to be being on a woman’s face.
Schuman describes her initial brows, the ones some caring person described as “slutty,” as “surprised little sperm.” Now she says she’s trying to let them grow back in and filling them in with a Laura Mercier eyebrow pencil.
People can be real assholes on the Internet, but if someone says something nasty about your appearance, instead of finding a high-end cosmetic that will “fix” you to be more attractive to the random Internet jerkwad of the day, we recommend just telling that person to fuck off.
Via Into the Gloss/Photo: Instagram/EmilySchuman