• Mon, Oct 14 - 4:00 pm ET

Old, Rich & Fabulous Women Are Too Old To Date

Bethenny And Martha Stewart

If you had all of the money in the world would it keep you warm at night? No, that’s a really stupid question. We all know that money doesn’t keep you warm. Power keeps your warm. Now say you are a powerful, monied woman who sleeps just fine but has decided you want to share your wonder life with someone who is equally powerful and monied. Don’t even try to consult Kelleher International (Millionaire Matchmaker but classier and way more expensive) if you aren’t a young, nubile thing, because all the money in the world won’t make up for the fact that you’re an undesirable old crone.

The NY Times has a profile of Kelleher International, a Silicon Valley-based matchmaking service that charges hundreds of thousands of dollars for their services, and apparently they aren’t too excited about trying to match older women.

“A lot of older women we don’t take — and they’re fabulous, but it’s too hard to match them,” Jill Kelleher said the morning after the party, at the company’s headquarters in Corte Madera, Calif., which was filled with impeccably groomed young female matchmakers (many of whom have marriage- and family-therapy degrees or a background in life coaching, Sunya Andrews said). “We need to find a system to bring in the men.”

Nothing makes men run the other direction fast than fabulous women if they’re old. Men have eyes and with those eyes they don’t see accomplished, intelligent, or even attractive women—they see disgusting old hags who won’t provide adequate sex holes for their parts.

Alright, ladies. It’s all downhill from here. We literally will not be able to pay someone exorbitant amounts of money to treat us like we’re desirable. Happy Monday.

Photo: Getty Images // via Jezebel

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  • Samantha_Escobar

    Money can keep you warm if you knit a money scarf! You would need a lot of money, though.

    http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2013/08/08/walter-white-money.jpg

    Okay, good.

    • Jen

      You know what money can buy? All the kittens in the world, and someone else to clean up after them while you just snuggle in a bed of kittens. I’m just saying.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      Oof, I have no idea how that thought didn’t occur to me. That is seriously all I could possibly want. And imagine the mewing!

  • Chuck

    The title is true for women and men.