Do you love spending money but hate smelling good? Lucky for you, plenty of expensive beauty products smell flat-out horrible! Here are five high-end products that will piss off your bank account and your nostrils simultaneously.
1. Yes to Tomatoes Daily Clarifying Cleanser - $9.99. This scent is just drastically too strong for something you rub into your skin. It’s perfumey and little girly and intense. Like, I’m okay with the way Maybelline’s Baby Lips tubes make my face smell like a wad of Bubblicious gum, because they’re four bucks– but if I’m paying ten dollars for three ounces of something, it shouldn’t smell like a middle school locker room.
2. Proactiv Solution - $60. Every Proactiv product smells like a dentist’s office. If it doesn’t work to clear up your acne, at least its horrible smell might distract you from the zits.
3. Lush Retread Conditioner - $29.95. I guess you have to pick your battles when you’re shopping for cruelty-free handmade products, but this particular conditioner is a fragrance flop. It’s earthy and pungent and reminds me of a weird bitter tea your hippy aunt might drink.
4. Dior “Diorshow” Mascara – $25. At $25 a pop, you’d hope this wouldn’t smell like cream bleach. Alas. If you blindfolded me, spread this mascara on my upper lip, and told me to leave it there for eight minutes, I wouldn’t even question it.
5. Philosophy “Hope in a Jar” Moisturizer – $65. Now it’s more expensive than ever to smell like roadkill! This moisturizer reminds me of a scented Crayola crayon I had when I was little that was supposed to smell like a wet dog. (Whose idea was that?) I guarantee that if you left this jar open on your porch, it would attract blowflies and kill all your plants.
Sometimes it’s worth the extra cash to make your face smell repulsive. So before you find a dead skunk and drag it into your bathroom for free, consider spending half your paycheck on one of these options.