A new and inventive way to get people to date your sad, lonely shell of a soul involves a fun new app called Carrot Dating, which allows men to bribe women into going on dates with them. This sounds like it was invented by someone who could never, ever get girls and over a period of intense loneliness and horniness developed deeply seated misogyny because the mean girls wouldn’t touch his boy parts.
According to Jezebel, Carrot Dating advertises with a really sexy example as to how this whole bribery for a date would work: “Say you need a tank of gas. Go out with this rich guy and in return, he will buy you a tank of gas!”
Brandon Wade, Sex Seeker and Carrot Dating app founder explains his app and reveals that he meets the exact aforementioned description of the creep:
“When I was younger, I realized that a nerdy smile and a sweet personality isn’t enough to attract beautiful women. Rejection was not only embarrassing, but also painful. Then, I realized that women love presents like dogs love treats. Just as an unfriendly dog wouldn’t deny a tasty treat, any beautiful girl can be bribed into giving you a first date.”
Wait wait wait. Isn’t this just the same concept as those Sugar Daddy sites? Like, the exact same premise? Except sites like that have the integrity—yeah, I said integrity—to call it like it is. Wade pretends that this is a totally normal basis for a relationship, and that comparing women to dogs is a super cool way to get ladies to fall for you. Wade seems to think that his bribery situation is just here to correct some long running injustice against nice guys (VOM) like him:
“Who says nice guys have to finish last? Carrot Dating brings romance back into the dating game by encouraging men to never go to a first date empty-handed. And in return, women will always give nice guys a chance.”
Dude, if you can’t get a girl without bribing her “like dogs,” then maybe you need to reevaluate your game. Have you thought, by chance, about the haircut guaranteed to get you laid?
Ladies should feel free to make the most of this opportunity for some guy who will pay you for the privileged of thinking some Pavlovian fuckery will work on us. If you use this app, you deserve to get cleaned out by women exploiting the fact that you think we can be bought. Honestly, you can’t afford us.
Are there any other MRA-sounding nice guys out there who wanna clean my house in exchange for a dinner (that you pay for)? COME AT ME, BROS.