Seinfeld has come to life in the form of the Funkybod Muscle Top, a “form-fitting shirt has built-in pads to enhance the wearer’s biceps, triceps and pectoral muscles.” It mostly functions as a man bra, which exists to fix the made up problem of “man boobs.”
Apparently, the whole man bra/bro scenario appeared as a happy accident. According to Funkybod‘s hot website,
“After initial trials we found that some of the smaller men had manboob issues which were covered well with the Funkybod muscle top. This led us to experiment with larger men and look into the manboob issue further.”
The Huffington Post is really swooning over the manboob management of the muscle top, championing the shirt’s “ability to lift and separate.”
Funkybod also carries alternative manboob solutions, including a “compression style undershirt which literally squeezes the body to try to hide the shape.” What excellent marketing! “Please buy our sausage casing to hide your horrible body.” Only $48.43! That seems like a reasonable price to realize that you’re disgusting.
This might be a good time to mention that obviously our male friends are also subject to unattainable beauty standards (although one would never base a man’s entire merit on his defined chest), and the Funkybod Muscle Top is a great example of silliness of beauty standards. Man boobs are an imaginary body part used to shame people. Men of different sizes are a thing, and none of that matters anyway. Who wants to get funky?