Jaimie Alexander Wore Painted-On Muscles Under That Ridiculously Naked Dress

Jamie Alexander Naked Dress Thor Premiere

We all need to arrange an appreciative slow clap for Thor actress Jaimie Alexander, who wore an extraordinarily naked dress to the Thor: The Dark World premiere this week and successfully increased her international exposure exponentially. But no celebrity, no matter how fit, toned, or conventionally attractive, can appear in public anymore with out a little bit of behind-the-scenes wizardry to make them look even more impossibly perfect, so Jaimie Alexander actually painted on some muscles under that dress.

Whenever we see a female celebrity on the red carpet, she’s usually wearing about 14 pairs of Spanx under her borrowed couture. Since Jaimie Alexander obviously couldn’t conceal a stray pubic hair under that comically revealing cut-away Azzaro dress, let alone a modern girdle, she hired someone to paint muscles on her with a spray-tan gun.

US Weekly reports that St. Tropez “skin finishing expert” Fiona Locke was brought in to “contour” Alexander’s body by painting her to emphasize muscle tone and create the impression of greater definition.

“Jaimie has an absolutely extraordinary figure, but with such a revealing dress, we did a custom St. Tropez Skin Finish to contour the body — enhancing her natural shape and muscle tone,” explained Locke.

 

So that’s why her boobs look so white and the line down her abs looks so clear! And we suspect Locke must have had a go at the butt, too, painting a shadow underneath and leaving the top whiter to make it “pop.” Jaimie Alexander is ridiculously fit, but Locke must be the Matisse of spray-tan art. Jamie Alexander naked dress Thor premiere back

“After applying an even layer to the body, go back to the natural shadows created by muscle tone and add an additional layer of product, along the shadows to really carve out the detail of the muscle,” Locke said.

We’re most impressed by how good Alexander’s face looks. So many celebrities go in for a fake tan and come out looking like Dreamsicles, but Jaimie Alexander just looks pretty, not unnaturally orange at all. We think it’s completely ridiculous that celebrities are spray-painting themselves to look good on the red carpet, but we have to admit that Locke is very good at her job. But she stretches the bounds of believability a bit to suggest that a spray tan somehow makes one less naked.

“Skin Finishing adds a layer of confidence to your skin, making you feel a little less naked,” she told US Weekly.

A careful application of fake tanner might make a person feel a bit less naked, but it certainly doesn’t make anybody look less naked.

Via US Weekly/Photos: Getty

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    • DeanaCal

      Wait wait wait! Are we considering US Weekly as a reliable source these days?

    • Kathie Brown

      Why didn’t she just show up naked? This isn’t glamour! http://tiny.cc/f9oa6w