This is an open letter to that white fishnet dress with fur sleeves Miley Cyrus wore a couple months ago:
Dear white fishnet dress with fur sleeves Miley Cyrus wore a couple month ago,
I owe you an apology. A couple months ago I said “there’s nothing edgier than wearing pasties on the red carpet.” At the time I said you were Miley Cyrus’ most WTF outfit ever, but now I see I was wrong. You’re not so bad. I miss you.
Today Miley Cyrus went to the 2013 MTV Europe Music Awards, and if Miley Cyrus’ outfit had a face, I would slap it. Because she’s wearing a super low-cut, lace-up, backless mini dress, and she has Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. on her ass.
Seriously, Tupac and Biggie now look like the cheeks of Miley Cyrus’ ass. That’s just not right.
Yes, Miley. Like the dress says, please stop.
It looks like this dress was made of two T-shirts cut up and sewed together, which seems like something a person might try before getting kicked off Project Runway in the first round. It didn’t work for Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, and it’s not working for Miley Cyrus here.
Miley Cyrus likes to wear crazy shit on the red carpet in a calculated effort to generate media coverage like this, but usually we think a bit more of her game. Her hair and makeup are usually on-point at least, but this look just isn’t doing it for us. The hair is flat and looks slept-in, and her makeup looks like something she would have worn back on Hannah Montana.
She’s wearing it with high-heeled, over-the-knee boots by M.C. Escher by way of Tom Ford. I hate peep-toe boots almost as much as Ashley hates peplums, but I think I might like these. I just have to cover the rest of Miley Cyrus up with my hand in order to pay attention to them.