• Thu, Nov 14 - 5:16 pm ET

10 Hilarious, Secret Flasks To Save You From Holiday Party Boredom

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Getting drunk in public can be inconvenient, because horrible people might want to charge you for liquor or say something stupid like “you aren’t allowed to drink liquor in the Library of Congress.” This morning, Carrie over at Mommyish wrote about the bra that holds wine that you drink from a straw, and it got us thinking about unconventional ways to cart your booze around with you so you can get drunk whenever it’s convenient.

We searched the internet high and low for the most ridiculous flasks around, and were gratified to see that many great minds have put their talent to work creating unusual alcohol delivery systems. Even when you think all the great ideas have already been taken, rest assured that there are still geniuses out there coming up with ways for us all to get drunk.

Now that you have ability to drink without being found out, we recommend taking any of these flasks to any one of the following offensive, alcohol-free occasions: children’s violin recitals, gynecological exams, dry weddings, calculus lectures, a family friend’s child’s graduation from a large high school, or at your job.

Here’s 10 ridiculous freaking flasks for discretely carrying your alcohol problem around town. Library of Congress, I’m coming for you.

Photo: Getty Images

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  • Char

    The sunscreen one reminds me of this: http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/It+s+Just+Tequila.+Dennis+and+Dee+drinking+tequila+out+of_7aabc6_4025380.jpg

    But I also need most of these. Right now I’m rocking a houndstooth disposable flask which I have already gotten confiscated twice. Or maybe I could stop being such a cheap ass alcoholic but we all know that will never happen.

  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    “…children’s violin recitals, gynecological exams, dry weddings, calculus lectures, a family friend’s child’s graduation from a large high school, or at your job.”

    Are you following me?

    • Julia Sonenshein

      Turn around. I’m standing behind you with a tampon full of booze.

    • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

      I drank it :(