• Fri, Nov 15 - 1:12 pm ET

The Boundless Poetic Beauty Of “What Would I Say?”

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If you’ve logged onto Facebook at any point in the past few days, you’ve almost certainly seen oddly on point non sequiturs filling your news feed. These are coming to you straight from a new app called What Would I Say, which trolls your Facebook presence to pick up your most used word and phrases, and then generates new statuses for you. The results are unbelievable.

Per ABCNews:

The site uses what’s called a Markov model to figure out what to write. After sifting through a Facebook user’s status updates, the site picks one word and starts calculating probabilities of other words that are likely to follow. Eventually creating a sentence.

What Would I Say has basically turned us all into Horse_ebooks, and the results range from hilarious, to nonsensical, to oddly poetic. Here’s a sampling of the hour I lost to this status generator last night:

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The beauty of this one is that all of those words did come from past Facebook activity. Breast milk expert. And this next one is just an undisputed fact.

what would i say 1Then it delved into children, existential poetry, and total, glaring accuracy about my life.

what would i say 6Oh god, you’re right. This one hurt a little.
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No, I do not.

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I love that bros are getting off to an adequate summation and not just our tits. It feels super respectful.

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This seems like an adequate summation of body image issues.

And this is just poetic:

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But this one just nailed my entire existence:

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WWIS gets me.

Images: What-would-i-say.com

Share This Post:
  • http://Mommyish.com/ Eve Vawter

    this is my fave thing ever

  • Meg Malone

    1. Why have I never heard of this until now?
    2. This is one of my first results and I am alarmed by it: “reenacting our crash”

  • StephC12

    Yours are turning out so much better than mine.

  • Nancy

    I was doing this last night, too! The best one I had was ‘forcing the hobo into a picture haha’ lol

  • Anne Marie Hawkins

    Ummm… terrifying, surreal, and wtf-y. “She was frustrated and wanted to guest star Trek, and the common law husband’s mechanically preserved living brain aneurism.”