Victoria’s Secret Model Rips Into Taylor Swift’s Performance For Bizarre Reason

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 13: Model Jessica Hart walks the runway at the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at Lexington Avenue Armory on November 13, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria’s Secret.

Above is the complex, highly-utilitarian battlewear that one woman bravely donned to throw verbal punches in the face of tyrannical pop culture. Wait, just kidding, that’s actually just model Jessica Hart Wednesday at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. But she did actually do some serious critiquing of one Taylor Swift and her performance that evening, so perhaps Hart should be preparing for an onslaught of anger as Swifties freak the F out at her when they read what she said to Women’s Wear Daily.

[Jessica Hart] was asked about Swift. Could she pull it off as a Victoria’s Secret model?

…Go on.

I think, you know what, god bless her heart. I think she’s great. But, I don’t know, to me, she didn’t fit. I don’t know if I should say that. I think what you find is that for a lot of us, we’ve been working for 14, 15 years; what it takes to make it here comes from experience and confidence and knowing how to be confident with yourself. I think it comes with age. It’s definitely the benchmark of all jobs.”

For those of you unfamiliar of what “bless her heart” means, it’s the most patronizing, thinly-shrouded way of saying, “Holy fuck, that motherfucker is stupid.” Seriously, if anybody ever says “bless your heart” to you and you’re not 100% certain they genuinely respect you, chances are, they’re giving you the loveliest middle finger with words that they possibly can muster.

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 13: Singers Patrick Stump (L) of the band Fall Out Boy and Taylor Swift perform at the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at Lexington Avenue Armory on November 13, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria's Secret)

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Victoria’s Secret.

(To be fair, the above shot is what was happening on the runway, and it makes very little sense to anybody. I mean, really, who invited Patrick Stump and my seventh grade taste in men, good god.)

But how doesn’t Taylor Swift fit? Seriously, I am genuinely confused at this notion because almost all definitions of the word “fitting” apply here. Swift is tall, thin, conventionally beautiful, knows how to walk in heels extremely well, has a pretty similar stance and camera presence as most models…she just happens to sing more than they do, talks a little too much shit sometimes and probably wears more white. Actually, no — they’re Victoria’s Secret Angels, so even that is something Swift shares with that crowd (you know, the supermodels-Leonardo-DiCaprio-chases crowd).

So, uh, would Jessica Hart prefer Victoria’s Secret go back to the Biebz? Because I feel like if you’re going to criticize any performer they’ve had in recent years, it would be that guy. Regardless, I think this proves there’s a little more going on besides cookie poses and blown kisses and awkward dressing room shots behind-the-scenes.

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    • Fabel

      Mmm, it doesn’t sound like she was snarking on her appearance, just her youth/innocence? Which is maybe valid; I have no idea how she was carrying herself, but if you’re a model & have been asked such an inane question, I could see how maybe the mind would be like, “ehh, nope, can’t see her walking the runway with the same attitude as us.” BUT it was probably not a good idea to say anything other than “Of course, she’s beautiful :D” out loud in response to a question like that…(& she is beautiful; from the pics, she was “fitting in”, yea)

    • Isla

      Swift isn’t thin enough or pretty enough to be a VS Angel. Point blank. Most women aren’t either. I think she looked silly trying to be sexy next to those Angels but I think she’s pretty silly anyway.

    • CaitlinCorsetti

      As a Southerner and frequent user of “bless her heart”, it isn’t always used to call someone stupid. It actually has a lot of meanings ranging from “You’re so sweet!” to “You poor thing!” It’s a common mix-up, but it’s not always a giant middle finger.

      • Samantha_Escobar

        I feel like you specifically have told me that it is meant to say “you sad, sad idiot,” haha.

      • CaitlinCorsetti

        It can mean that, too. Like I said, it has a lot of meanings. I said it this morning to someone as a thank you for holding the door open for me.

      • Alexis H

        As a Southerner, I can verify this explanation. It isn’t always as bad as people think.

      • Victoria Umesi

        As someone who has lived in the South her whole life and has used “bless her heart” in about 30 different ways, I completely agree.

    • Roxanne Marie Zoltan

      I always really relate to Taylor Swift when I see her moving or walking because I feel like we’re both tall, gangly people with bad posture – I don’t know, it makes me think about how I feel like I’m still growing into my body and learning how to carry myself because there are just so many bones to deal with. And while models are expected to have similar bodies, they are judged primarily on their ability to carry themselves, and that’s what I thought of when Hart cited working for over a decade. At the same time, though, Taylor Swift is thin and 5’11″ and conventionally attractive which all might help if she tried to be a Victoria’s Secret model.

    • Victoria

      Sounds like jealously to me..

    • Hayley Hoover

      I’ll concede that Taylor was maybe a bit of a weird choice for Victoria’s Secret, but it’s just so patronizing and unfair to act like she’s a too-young airhead who just wandered into being famous. She’s 23 and she’s won every award known to man.

    • LouLou

      every time I see Taylor Swift walk or a picture of her caught in mid motion, I cringe because her posture is so bad for her height. Bless her heart..