Last night Ke$ha performed her new song “Timber” at the American Music Awards with Pitbull. Her look was so all All-American that it was hard to recognize her, until you looked a little closely and realized her Daisy Dukes were cut so high that you could almost see her uterus.
On closer inspection, this wasn’t just a plaid shirt and cutoffs. Her jeans shorts couldn’t even be classified as Jorts. They were more like Janties.
What are Janties, you ask? Jeans+Panties. Duh. I guess Ke$ha just invented them. And if you’re wondering why this abomination took so long to be created, here’s your answer:
Of course plenty of women have worn short shorts before. And jeans have been cut in all sorts of sexy/slutty permutations. But rather than go with the traditional roll down or unbuttoned look, Ke$ha is going for something different here. She is currently going through a nostalgia period for high-waisted early 90s panties. And that apparently extends to the cut of her jeans shorts.
Unfortunately, these janties are likely not a one-time occurrence. Ke$ha and Pitbull released the video for “Timber” today and it is rife with similar short shorts. Of course, in the video, Ke$ha’s shorts aren’t cut so high:But she decided those shorts were a little too flattering for a live performance and opted for the beaded number and went heavy on the crotch thrusting for the stage last night:
Likely, we’ll be seeing shorts like this throughout the promotion for “Timber.” And I’m guessing that the cut was made to show off Ke$ha’s admirably toned thighs. Check them out:
But they’re really sacrificing the rest of her body to showcase her thigh muscle. Which is fine for Ke$ha purposes, but I’m just hoping that women with great leg muscles and stomach insecurities aren’t drawn to these things.
Because it almost seems like a great way to show off your legs without worrying about your pooch. Except they are terrible. And I’m pretty sure slightly more comfortable than the invistible panties that some murderer is trying to hawk on Kickstarter.
Check out all the jorts and janties you can stand in the videos below: